How should a Christian teen handle an unwanted pregnancy?
First things first, my friend, take a deep breath. It's okay. We all make mistakes. We all sometimes choose sin over following God. But our God is bigger than this, and He can handle it. God does not hate you for being pregnant. Being pregnant is not a sin. It's not even a sin to be pregnant out of wedlock. Surprised? Well, it's still a fact. Your baby will not be sinning if he or she is born to unmarried parents. You're going to be okay.
Tell God What Happened
The sin you committed was having sex outside of marriage—and that goes for the guy too. But that is done and in the past now. Confess it to God, and you will be forgiven for it (1 John 1:9). Yes, you will have to deal with the consequences of that sin, but with God, you can do it (Philippians 4:13). It's time to move on to the next step, one that can provide you with much hope and joy. I know that's hard to imagine, but stay with me here. You WILL make it through this.
Tell Your Parents What Happened
Your parents need to know that you're pregnant, so that is the next step. It's going to be hard. They are probably going to be disappointed. They may be worried about your family's reputation in the Christian community. But they need to know, and they might even be able to help you. After all, this unborn baby is their grandchild.
Proverbs 6:20-22 says to follow the teaching of our parents and that "when you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you." If they are believers who truly want to follow God's ways for life, they will eventually come around to acceptance of the situation. Their job as parents is to guide you and help you lead a godly life, turning to God always—no matter what circumstances you're in.
Take Another Breath!
No matter how terrifying the situation seems, you will make it through. God is the One we can run to; He will wrap us in His arms and fill us with strength when the nights are long and dark and lonely (Psalm 46:1; Psalm 91:1-2). God will meet all your needs whether physically, spiritually, or through His people (Philippians 4:19). Watch for those encouragements and opportunities. If you ask Him for them, they will come.
You are a precious creation of God. You may have made a mistake, but you are not the first person to have made this one (Romans 3:23). God has a perfect plan for you and this baby (Psalm 139:13-18). Because this has happened, He will make it into something beautiful. It may not be the perfect situation for anyone, but you and your baby are extraordinary human beings and God loves you both.
Gather Your Support Group
Other than your parents, you can find support in friends, family, or members of your church. Confide in a trusted friend what you are going through. Hopefully, she will be able to stand with you, cry with you, hold your hand, and encourage you—even if she doesn't have all the answers. You may also be able to get help from a friend's Christian parents or a church leader. It certainly doesn't hurt to start putting together a plan with the help of adults who may have some wisdom to offer (Proverbs 15:22). You've got some important decisions to make.
The Available Options
1. Parenthood - The baby you have created is a blessing—not a curse. This child could be the best thing that ever happened to you. No, really! It's hard to imagine how a girl could find joy in having a baby at 15 or 16 years old, but God is bigger than our imaginations (Isaiah 55:8-9), and He is really full of surprises when it comes to the unexpected things in life (Psalm 149:4).
Talk with your parents, pray with them, and consider if you would be able to start being a parent yourself. The path won't be easy, but the rewards could be better than you realize. James 1:5 promises, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."
2. Adoption - If you cannot or are unable to care for the baby yourself (even with the help of others), then the baby can still be a HUGE blessing to another couple who cannot have kids on their own. Imagine the joy you could provide for a husband and wife who have been praying for a baby to care for but have not been able to conceive.
God has adopted us all into His family, so He looks very kindly upon children who are adopted. There are many reputable, Christian organizations that can handle adoptions and place your baby with a loving family who will take care of him or her as though the child was their own.
3. Abortion - Abortion is the termination of a pregnancy by removing the baby from your body by surgical or other medical means, resulting in the death of the baby. There's a lot of controversy out there about abortion, whether it is murder or not, but the Bible is clear about the fact that we are real human beings even in the womb (Psalm 139:13-16). So to have an abortion is to end a life, an act which is clearly forbidden in the Bible (Exodus 20:13), and abortion cannot be undone.
For the Christian, abortion is not an option. Even though it is legally available, God does not condone it. Yes, pregnancy is hard and uncomfortable and the thought of childbirth might be scary, but these are all natural processes which God designed. Your body is His, and He will take care of you (1 Corinthians 6:19). You can make it through these nine months for the health and well-being of your baby.
I know you're frightened, and your first instinct may be to go into self-preservation mode. But this is about more than just you now. The decisions you make now will affect more than just your life—it will affect the life of the father, your family, and especially the very life of the baby inside you (Philippians 2:3-4).
Try not to dwell on your past mistakes. Stop making them and move on. God is holding your hand to help you. Being pregnant is not something you have to go through on your own. You may be able to involve the father and his family too. He is just as responsible for this pregnancy as you are. Ask your parents to pray with you and discuss how much they will be able to support you during pregnancy and if you decide to raise the baby or if they can help you through the adoption process. Do a search on Christian crisis pregnancy centers in your city to see if they have any services or can offer any financial help. Sometimes they even offer free ultrasounds and prenatal care.
Our God is all powerful, and He is strong enough to bring joy and blessings into your life—even after you have sinned. Yes, there are super tough times ahead for you and your family, but you will make it through this. Nothing is beyond God's power, and He will never leave you.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland." —Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)
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