If this is the question you're asking right now, can we just give you a giant virtual hug, right now? We know a hug won't really cure or solve anything, but we want you to know that we DO care. Yes, somebody cares!
We are so sorry you're feeling this way. There are so many things that could have led to you to this point, as well as many emotions you might be feeling right now. Your heart must be hurting terribly, and we wish so much there was something we could do to instantly make it better. It may seem like nobody cares, or that no one really understands. Maybe you think there isn't any reason to hope, because it seems nothing will ever actually get better. Maybe life doesn't appear worth the pain of living.
But what if it was?
Please take this moment to hear us out, because we want to show you where True Hope lies, because it does exist. Yes, this life is full of pain and suffering, much of which we don't understand. Maybe you've never heard of the God who loves and cares about you more than words can describe. Or maybe you've grown up with God but feel like He has abandoned you. Maybe the Church has rejected you or burned you so badly that you can't imagine how their God could be different. Either way, God is so much more amazing and kind than man could ever hope to explain.
God is the Creator of the universe, and the Creator of you. God is the One whose image you were made in (Genesis 1:27). God is bigger than all circumstances, than all broken relationships, than all hurts and all mistakes. "For nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 1:37). God is the treasurer of broken hearts (Psalm 51:15-17).
God has a plan already made for your life, "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11). God created you because He wanted to, so you could glorify Him. Creating you in the first place brought Him glory! He chose everything about you and put the greatest thought into the smallest details of your person.
Even if you don't feel loved or if you can't love yourself right now, He still loves you. In fact, He loves you so much that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the penalty for your sin so you could return to the presence of your Creator—God Himself. Jesus Christ willingly came to the world in the form of a man and endured humanity. He endured humiliation (Matthew 27:28-31, 39-44). He endured rejection (Luke 4:16-29). He even endured abandonment (Matthew 26:56b). Can you relate to His troubles on Earth? But despite all this, "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
He is waiting for you to allow Him to speak into your life with Truth, love and hope. "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:6-7). He is waiting for you to give Him your life and accept His gift of salvation, or perhaps you've already accepted that gift and He's waiting for you to hand over control so He can lead you out of the darkness of despair to the beautiful, glimmering light of hope.
God has rescued and used people who were murderers (Moses), adulterers (David), and persecutors (the apostle Paul). But they all received forgiveness and renewal from God. "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come" (2 Corinthians 5:17). God wants you to come to Him through His Son Jesus Christ so that He can adopt you into His family as His child.
God is unchanging (Malachi 3:6; James 1:17), so there will never be a time when He'll just decide He no longer cares about you. As a child of God, you are assured His love is forever (Ephesians 4:30). God is waiting for you to turn to Him.
Acts 16:31 says, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved." Jesus Christ loved you so much that He already took care of everything for you. All you need to do is accept His free gift of salvation. Believe with your whole heart that only Jesus can pay for your sins. "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Romans 11:6 says, "But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace is no longer grace." And grace is what God extended to us.
But maybe you've already believed in the Lord Jesus Christ. Maybe it feels like "it didn't work." Maybe you still feel despair and pain and hopelessness, and you think you're not "supposed" to feel that way. You're discouraged. You feel like an outcast from the church because you're doubting, and it feels like the line to God has been cut. You feel alone.
I promise that you are not the only one who has gone through this struggle of doubt. Doubt does not take away salvation, nor does it take away God's unchangeable affection for you. Once you have become a child of God, "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, not height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).
Nothing can pull you away from your Savior, and nothing you do will make God love you less.
Because God wants to show you His awesome plan for your life. Because God wants to repair the brokenness you view as no good and wish to end by suicide. The prophet Isaiah said, "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified" (Isaiah 61:1-3). Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Jesus came to Earth for the hurting. You, you, YOU are special and precious within the sight of the Creator of the universe. Yes, YOU—the one reading this! Matthew 10:29-31 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So do not fear; YOU are more valuable than many sparrows."
May you know that you matter and are invaluable to the One who created everything from the tiniest fish in the sea, to the sun and the moon and the stars. May you find comfort in the unchanging presence and compassion of Jesus Christ, and know that you, my friend, are important and unconditionally loved. May Christ's grace be with you as you face this decision.
Yes, this life is full of pain and suffering, much of which we don't understand. But life is also full of beautiful things, and God loves to share those with you. God is bigger than all circumstances, than all broken relationships, than all hurts and mistakes (Luke 1:37). God is the treasurer of broken hearts (Psalm 51:15-17). God created you because He wanted to and lovingly, thoughtfully chose everything about you. God is a Father who loves you unconditionally; you can never make God stop loving you (Romans 8:38-39). He wants to show you His awesome plan for your life, repair the brokenness, and give you new life filled with joy. Never forget that you are valuable and precious to the Creator of the universe (Matthew 10:29-31).
September is an aspiring novelist, book
hoarder collector, and movie watcher. When not obsessively organizing her book shelves, she can be found in a coffee shop writing, editing, or webmastering; assisting in taxidermy; or at home annoying her cat, Jpeg. That, or staring blankly into space, contemplating some deep question she'll forget shortly.