Valentine's Day is a day I have really come to despise. I can think of no other day on the calendar that causes more stress and sadness as does this manufactured day. I remember when I was in elementary school, we traded cheap little Valentines in class. We all counted our cards to see if we received as many as the kid next to us. Then we evaluated the wording on the cards to determine their value based on what they meant. A card that said, "Puppy Love," for instance, was more desirable than one that said, "Let's be Friends." Did the giver of the Puppy Love card have a crush on the recipient?!
In later school years, we raised money for student council on Valentine's Day by purchasing carnations to deliver to friends, crushes, boyfriends, or girlfriends during 7th period. Walking through the hallways at the end of the day, we'd see many who carried no flowers while others carried twenty or more. For one who had received nothing, the rejection was palpable. How humiliating to walk through the hall, head down, without a single flower.
I wish I could say it gets better in adulthood. But I have seen women cry at work when everyone around them had flowers and chocolates delivered to them, yet they received nothing.
Valentine's Day seems intent on drawing out every insecurity we harbor within ourselves, making us question our value, loveableness, and worthiness. Yet God says you are valuable and loved by HIM. He created you because He wanted to love you.
"For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother`s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them." —Psalm 139:13-16
When you read this Psalm, you can be assured that you were not an accident. Regardless of whether or not your parents planned for your birth, God did. He knew He wanted a ME, and He wanted a YOU. He says we were wonderfully made. You and I might look in a mirror and only see our perceived flaws, but God only sees the creation He painstakingly made with great effort and care. He says we are beautiful—YOU are beautiful. Christ the King is enthralled with your beauty (Psalm 45:11).
God loves you deeply, and He wants your heart. You know those Valentine candies that say, "Be Mine?" God invites us every day (not only February 14) to be HIS. He created you because He wanted a relationship with you, and He has a plan and a purpose for your life.
You may often find that you don't feel valuable in the eyes of others, but you are always valuable to God. He created you, has plans for you, and fights for you—to the point of sending His own Son to die for you. God allowed Jesus to sacrifice Himself for YOU. And Jesus willingly did so...for YOU. That's how much He loves you!
When you feel disappointment about how people treat you, you can seek comfort from the One who says He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). And when you know that, you can make the choice to no longer search for your value in the eyes of people, but to accept the value that you have in Christ, you may begin to experience happiness and relief.
When I know that I can have unconditional and never ending love and acceptance from the God who wanted me to exist so badly that He created me, I will take that over someone else's temporary and conditioned feelings any day.
If you are feeling lonely and unloved because no one has given you a card and flowers, why not buy some for yourself and enjoy them because they remind you that God creates beautiful things—like YOU. Maybe consider making someone's day by getting THEM flowers? It doesn't have to be a romantic gesture, but one of godly love.
If no one sends you flowers, do not believe the lie the devil may whisper in your ear that no one loves or values you. Remember, God has declared that you are wonderful and exactly what He intended. He is enthralled by your beauty, and He has big plans for your life.
I pray that you would see how valuable you are in Christ. That your heart would be open to the love He wants to pour into your heart. I pray that you will know this with all the assurance in the world.
And, dear one, we love you and think you are special too. ☺
Rhonda is an author, wife, mother, and mentor. She graduated from the University of Missouri with a degree in English and Religious studies. She loves studying God’s Word for truth and wisdom and uses it as a compass and roadmap for her own spiritual journey. Rhonda believes in sharing the Good News and the hope found in Biblical truths with others. She uses her writing and mentoring opportunities (often with a pinch of humor) to do just that.