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What does the Bible say about gay marriage / same sex marriage?

How should Christians feel about gay marriage? This is a tough question in today's world, isn't it? Yes, God wants us to love everyone, but what if they struggle with sin? Hey, don't forget that YOU struggle with sin. Everyone is in the same boat, friends. We should have love, compassion, and mercy for the LGBTQ community—just like we would for any other human being. Just like Jesus has for us.

Jesus told us in John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." He never told us to hate anyone for any reason. The apostle Paul reminds us that "We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother" (1 John 4:19-21). In this case, "brother" is any other fellow human being.

With that in mind, let's talk about...

Biblical Marriage vs. Same Sex Marriage

While the Bible does repeatedly address that homosexuality is a sin (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9), it doesn't talk about same sex marriage because that was just not a thing at the time the Bible was written. However, that doesn't mean that homosexual marriage is OK with God. Marriage was created by God and defined as a union between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:2-16; Ephesians 5:23-33). The primary biblical purpose of marriage is to build a family and provide a stable environment for that family.

Since the Bible clearly condemns homosexual desires and actions, we can conclude that same sex "marrying" is not God’s will for His sons and daughters.

The biblical example of marriage is the union of one man and one woman who are designed to complement one another. Even the scientific institution of psychology states that a union between a man and woman, in which both spouses serve as good gender role models, is the best environment in which to raise well-adjusted kids.

Let's also consider nature and human physiology: Men and women were designed to "fit" together sexually. The "natural" purpose of sex is in fact procreation, but only a sexual relationship between a man and a woman will make that happen. Even nature argues against homosexual unions.

What should I do about same sex marriage?

What the government decides is lawful is up to the government. Your country's governing body doesn't always make decisions based on the Bible, so we can't necessarily hold them to that standard or control what they do. As Christian individuals, we should obey the law of the government so long as it does not conflict with God's law, which can get to be a sticky situation if you own a business that requires a definition of "married couple."

Christians cannot recognize a homosexual union as a godly one; we must stand firm that it is not a marriage as defined by the Bible. There are also plenty of strong, logical arguments against gay marriage/same sex marriage that are not based on the Bible. Do your research and have an answer for why you believe what you do.

If you were in a position to pass laws affecting same sex marriage (such as a Congressman, Supreme Court official, or legal voter), then it would be your personal responsibility to vote against it because you would not want to go against God's law. However, as a citizen under the power of the government, you cannot control every law. Therefore, your responsibility as a Christian is to make the personal choice not to practice homosexuality nor to marry someone of the same gender—even though it may be lawful in the government's eyes.

Should I avoid LGBTQ couples or gay weddings?

Listen. We are not telling you that you are above anyone. It is not our job to judge anyone else for their sins or actions. Judgment is God's job (Matthew 7:1-5; Romans 2:1-3). Our job is to love and serve others, as always, despite their sin. Do not forget: we ALL sin—Christian or atheist, heterosexual or homosexual, male or female. No one is innocent (Romans 3:23).

Have love and respect for ALL PEOPLE—no matter who they are or what they do (Matthew 22:36-40; John 13:34-35).

If you are asked about your position regarding homosexual relationships or same sex marriage or asked to attend or participate in a gay wedding, you must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). Make your own decisions on what to do or say based on your convictions from the Holy Spirit, Bible truths, the specific situation, and your relationship with the person/couple. You may still disapprove of their sin or of gay marriage, but that doesn't mean you should treat the person any differently than with love, compassion, and mercy.

As Christians, sometimes when we stand for truth, we will suffer personal attacks, insults, or persecution—be prepared for that. If it happens, remember what Jesus said in John 15:18-19: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."

It is perfectly fine and absolutely right to not be "against" your LGBTQ friends or family. God isn't against the homosexual boy or girl; He loves all people and desires for all to come to Him (1 Timothy 2:4). It is always the sin that God hates—not the person. Likewise, you shouldn't be against any one person; your desire ought to be for all people to come to understand and experience God's love and forgiveness.

TL;DR

While the Bible does not specifically mention same sex marriage, it does repeatedly address that homosexuality is a sin (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9) and also defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:2-16; Ephesians 5:23-33). Christians cannot recognize a homosexual union as a godly one and must maintain that it is not a biblical marriage, speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). If asked to participate in or attend a gay wedding, make your own decisions on what to do or say based on your personal convictions from the Holy Spirit, Bible truths, the specific situation, and your relationship with the person/couple. You may still disapprove of their sin or of gay marriage, but that doesn't mean you should treat the person any differently than with love, compassion, and mercy.

By: Catiana Nak Kheiyn

Cat is the web producer and editor of 412teens.org and loves to write novellas with local young writers at her workshops. She also contributes at GotQuestions.org, Blogos.org, and GQkidz.org. When Catiana is not writing or hanging out with teens, she loves spending time with her two kids, five socially awkward cats, and her amazing friend-amily.

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