In the Christian community, it's almost assumed that we're supposed to be married at a young age, join all the couples Bible studies, and eventually become parents—like there's a formula we're supposed to follow for life fulfillment. If you are a single teenager, you may see everyone at school and church dating each other and might start to panic, wondering what's wrong with you because you're still single! How will you ever attain the formula for happiness?
To give you guys some comfort and perspective, let me tell you something: I'm 21 years old, and I've never had a boyfriend. Ever. And I am honestly perfectly OK with that.
Contrary to popular opinion, it's NOT a bad thing to be called to singleness. The Bible never says that marriage is a requirement for Christians. And yes, I said called to be single. Singleness is actually a gift (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).
Now, if you have a desire to be in a relationship, I'll allay your fears before you start freaking out. Not everybody is called to lifelong singleness. Many people will end up getting married, but there are some whom God calls to remain single. These people have been specially chosen by God to remain single in order to do God's work—what a privilege! 1 Corinthians 7:34 tells us, "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."
Married or unmarried, our lives should be about bringing glory to God. He knows if we'll bring Him the most glory by being married or by being single. For the Christ follower, our lives are no longer about US, but God's will FOR us and bringing Him the glory He deserves by how we live our lives—whether we are single for a time then married or if we always stay single.
Just because you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now, that doesn't mean you will never experience a relationship. God may be calling you into a season of singleness for this time of your life, and that's OK. Embrace that. Feel honored that God has called you into this season of growth. This confirms He loves you enough to protect you, and He wants to have you all to Himself right now. Use this time to explore God's word, serve Him, and pour into others' lives. Right now, you have the time to be wholly devoted to what the Lord is doing instead of having to be concerned about a relationship or marriage or kids. While those are good things in time, while single, you can do things you couldn't do if you had a significant other to consider.
No matter what your status—single or in a relationship or single but wanting a relationship—God loves you. He sees you. And He chose you. He is the One who defines your value—not a boyfriend or girlfriend.
By staying single, you're following God's call for this time of your life that's unique to you—and that's perfectly OK! Whether or not it makes sense to us (Proverbs 3:5-6), we're all called to different paths and seasons in life. No one's path is better or worse than yours. We should never compare our journey to someone else's, because God has called us to the one that we're on. And that path is the best one right now. It is the path that will lead to joy unlike any other and blessings we would never experience if we had chosen our own way (Proverbs 16:9).
God's way is always best, and it's always worth it. Ask God to reveal His will to you, and follow that path. If God has called you to stay single, stay single. You don't know what He has planned for the future, but He knows what's best for YOU!
Contrary to popular opinion, it's NOT a bad thing to be called to the gift of singleness (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). The Bible never says that marriage is a requirement for Christians. When we choose to follow Christ, our lives are no longer about US, but God's will FOR us and bringing Him the glory He deserves by how we live our lives—whether we are single for a time then married or if we always stay single. God may be calling you into a season of singleness for this time of your life, and that's OK. Embrace that. Feel honored that God has called you into this season of growth. This confirms He loves you enough to protect you, and He wants to have you all to Himself right now. You don't know what He has planned for the future, but He knows what's best for YOU!
Stephanie is a 21-year old with a passion to see believers grow and become passionate in their relationship with the Lord. She is a lover of sweat tea, sunshine, and the freedom that comes from Christ. In her free time, she can be found singing, playing guitar, writing or jamming out to Hawk Nelson, Phil Wickham, and worship music. Her dreams are to become a worship leader and a published author, while living a life full of fun and joy that comes from the Lord.
