There are two definitions of the word "forgive": 1. to cancel a debt, and 2. to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
When we speak of God forgiving us, we're talking about the first definition—canceling a debt. When we're talking about forgiving ourselves, we're talking about the second definition—a decision to stop being angry, resentful, or shameful toward ourselves.
Sometimes the guilt and shame of past sin lingers in our hearts and minds. Yet God doesn’t want us to hold unforgiveness against ourselves. No matter what we have done, God’s love and forgiveness is bigger. No matter what our sins, God will forgive us.
“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Jesus paid the penalty for all of our sins—past, present, and future. This means that no sin is too great for God to forgive. Since God has forgiven you, you are allowed to forgive yourself too. It is common to feel bad about sins in the past but please know that God has already forgiven you. To "forgive yourself" is NOT to avocate for self-atonement. Atonement can only be granted through Jesus by God's grace.
Healing from past sins is extremely difficult as long we're holding onto personal guilt and shame—despite God's forgiveness. Every new day is an opportunity to try doing your best, and with the Holy Spirit’s help, you CAN do this. There is no need to be angry, resentful, or shameful toward yourself.
God Forgives All Who Ask
No matter what you have done, there is forgiveness from God. There is no such thing as a sin “too big” for God to forgive when a person comes before Him and asks. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This means we are to forgive others, but we must also forgive ourselves. God loves us more than we could ever love ourselves. If God offers His love and forgiveness, we know we are allowed to give love and forgiveness to ourselves too.
When we ask for God’s forgiveness after we have sinned, He forgives—period (1 John 1:9). To dwell on the sin or feel lingering guilt or shame is to allow that past sin to keep hurting us. In order to heal from that hurt, rather than focusing on the sin, we can direct our attention to our gratitude for God's forgiveness and our determination to move forward toward something better (2 Corinthians 12:9; Philippians 4:8).
Choose forgiveness for all—including you!
If you have accepted salvation through Jesus Christ, remember that your sins have been completely forgiven by God. Jesus already did the work required; He died on the cross so all of humanity could receive the gift of forgiveness from God (John 3:16-17). If you had been the only person in the history of the world who ever sinned, He would still have died for you. Jesus loves you THAT much! His love is everlasting and can never be shaken (Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:9).
We know it can be hard to move past the shame and guilt of past sins. It may take some time to forgive yourself, and that's OK. Healing takes time. God has forgiven you and would love for you to forgive yourself in your heart too. No matter what your past holds, God loves you and forgives you. We pray that you will find the space in your heart to love and forgive yourself in time.