What should a Christian do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

A Comical Satire by Cactus

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following article is a sarcastic parody from one of our talented writers and should not be taken as serious spiritual advice. If you're interested in knowing if zombies are mentioned in the Bible, take a look at THIS ARTICLE on GotQuestions.org. Enjoy! —Cat

It's the middle of the night. You're watching re-runs of The Simpsons, South Park, Masterpiece Theatre, or whatever. Suddenly, you hear a crowd of brain dead people moaning, and the odor of rotting flesh begins to permeate throughout the house. You rush to the door, knowing that there are only two explanations: (1) the local sports bar just closed up, or (2) the dead have risen from their graves to eat your flesh!

What do you do? Do you try to convert these zombies to Christianity, or do you grab Uncle Barney's shotgun and fill 'em full of holes? First, let's see what the Bible has to say about the undead.

"And this shall be the plague wherewith the Lord will smite all the people who have fought against Jerusalem: their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet, and their eyes shall consume away in their holes, and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth." —Zechariah 14:12

Since the people are already alive, this is not quite a description of a true zombie, but more of an inverse zombie. However, it does describe what zombies might look like when they attempt to overcome the human race.

Matthew 27:51-53 also showcases zombie appearances in scripture; however, it doesn't really say what they look like. In fact, while the Bible (both Old and New Testaments) gives us many descriptions of zombies, none of them go into much depth about what they look like, or if they have spiritual souls for that matter.

In Matthew 27:51-53, God mentions holy people coming back to life and being used by God to show people Jesus' holiness. In this case, yes, the zombies would have souls and should not be annihilated with AK-47s, axes, cacti, spoons, or whatever your choice of weapon would be. However, the type of zombies I am referring to are the ones that were not raised to proclaim the news of Jesus Christ. I am referring to the zombies that have escaped from the bonds of death and are only interested in eating the flesh of you and your loved ones.

In this case, these are zombies not sent from God, but zombies sent by Satan. It is much more theologically likely that the souls of these zombies are already in the afterlife, but their bodies, by no fault of their own, were selected by Satan to be a medium for his evil will. We can be assured of this by reading Ephesians 6:12: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

The one thing a Christian should not do during a zombie uprising is cut all emotional ties and put your own survival above anyone else's. John 15:13 tells us that there is no greater love than sacrificing your life to save a friend's or, for that matter, the life of any other living human being.

Some people have the tragic notion that as soon as the first zombie takes the very first juicy bite out of someone's leg, then all morals go out the window, and we no longer have to follow any of the laws of Christ. But we are assured that, in all time, no circumstance can ever erode the sacred commandments of God, and in every situation, even a zombie apocalypse, God's word still applies.

The belief to the contrary, that natural morals are not a fixed thing, which is called relativism, is a completely un-Christian belief. No matter how many zombies there are and how ready for dinner they are, we can never simply abandon our God given morals. Yes, killstreaks and headshots are important, but in defending our family and friends, we just can't forget God's love and mercy.

Writer: Cactus

Cactus is a teen who, in his spare time, enjoys writing, listening to bands no one has ever heard of, and creating assorted wavelengths of random sound particles that ALMOST resemble real music. He is also fluent in the languages of English, sarcasm, and gibberish.

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