Simply put, the right time to lose your virginity is the night of your wedding day and with the person who have committed to love and cherish for the rest of your life. ☺
I know it's hard to wait, and the pressure of feeling like you're the only one who is a virgin presses in so hard—especially when you hear your friends talking about various things they're doing with boyfriends or girlfriends. But trust me, this precious gift of purity is something you want to keep guarded for your future husband or wife. Not only for that person, but also for you.
The thing about sex is that it takes a little piece out of you every time. You give some of yourself to the other person in the most vulnerable way possible, and if they aren't committed to giving back, then you're left with a chunk missing from your heart.
I can tell you from personal experience that it is not worth whatever momentary joy or pleasure you will feel at the time. Getting started down that road is so, so easy and everything seems fantastic and shiny at the time. But then the road gets rough, and it starts to hurt so much. Then you find that coming back out of it is like walking through icy wind and snow the entire time.
Premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture, along with other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible is very clear that sex is for married couples only, and that the only other option outside of (and before) marriage is total abstinence—no sex at all. Premarital sex is just as wrong as a husband cheating on his wife or watching internet porn or any other form of sexual immorality (Ephesians 5:3). Why? Because they all involve having sex with (or lustful thoughts about) someone you are not married to.
We're not saying that sex is a bad thing. Sex is a very good thing. Sex is something God gave us for pleasure...but in the context of marriage only. No-sex-before-marriage not just some rule to stop people from having fun either. There are very real emotional, physical, and spiritual reasons why it is best to wait until you're in a committed, married relationship with a man who will adore you as Christ loves the Church or a woman who will love and respect you the way the Church loves Christ.
When you and a person you love deeply have said vows of commitment to one another that you will never leave one another or hurt each other and are bound as husband and wife before God.
That may not be the answer you were looking for, but it is an honest one. I lost my virginity at a young age, and I know that it was wrong. I thought I was ready, and I saw everybody else doing it and didn't want to be left behind. Though God has brought life from the ashes many years later, those experiences filled my journey with heartaches and pains that affected more than just me and a boy—they affected my friends and family too. But all of it could have been avoided if I had not started down that road in the first place.
If you are still a virgin, you have a choice! You have the ability to make that choice right here and right now. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
If you are NOT a virgin, you STILL have a choice! It's not too late to commit yourself to purity. That Romans 12:2 verse applies to you too. You are also a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), and you are no longer bound to sin like a slave (Romans 6:6). You DO have a choice.
The answer to this question is pretty straightforward: once you and a person you love deeply have said vows of commitment to one another that you will never leave one another or hurt each other and are bound as husband and wife before God. In other words, your wedding night—that is when you should lose your virginity. If you have already lost it, it's okay; there is forgiveness for you! It's not too late to commit yourself to purity (Romans 12:2). You are also a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), and you are no longer bound to sin like a slave (Romans 6:6). You DO have a choice.
Cat is the web producer and editor of 412teens.org. She loves audiobooks, feeding the people she cares about, and using Christmas lights to illuminate a room. When Catiana is not writing, cooking, or drawing, she enjoys spending time with her two kids, four socially-awkward cats, and her amazing friend-amily.