Is there such a thing as a "soul mate"? How can I know if I've found "the one"?

The idea of a "soul mate" is that for every person there is another person who is a "perfect fit," and if you marry anyone other than this soul mate, you will never be happy. This idea of soul mates goes way back to the teachings of Plato in the 3rd century. But does the Bible say anything about soul mates? Fantastic and romantic as it is, having a soul mate is not a biblical idea.

For centuries, people have been using the soul mate idea as grounds to break up or even divorce . A person becomes unhappy in a relationship, then claims they are obviously not with "the one" and should therefore break up. At that point, they feel they can justify the search for their "true" soul mate. Sorry, people, but that's nothing more than an excuse—a pretty blatantly unbiblical one, too.

I know that if you're reading this on 412teens.org (and if you're a teenager), you're probably not married yet, but this is still valid for future reference. Once you're married, the person you've married is the person you are meant to be with. Mark 10:7-9 says, "A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." A husband and wife are "united," "one flesh," "no longer two, but one," and "joined together"—soul mates, if you want to be romantic. ;-)

Even if a relationship is not as perfect and joyous as a couple wishes it could be, once they're married, they are soul mates. By following what the Bible teaches about marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33), a couple can develop the intimacy, love, and commitment that being "one flesh" soul mates is all about. No matter how disharmonious a marriage is, God can bring healing, forgiveness, restoration, and true marital love and harmony.

How can I know if I'm with the right person? Is it possible to marry the wrong person?

If we listen to God and seek His direction for our lives, He promises to direct us: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6). What happens if you don't trust in God's ways and if you decide to choose what's best instead of letting God direct you? Well, you leave yourself open to stray off in the wrong direction. In a time of disobedience toward God, and if we aren't taking His guidance to heart, then yes, it's possible to marry someone God did not desire you to marry.

However, even in that case, God is still in control and knows the best next steps. Nothing we do can mess up God's sovereign will. He can take any two people, no matter how mismatched, and mold them into two people who are perfect for each other. That's how much He loves us and shows how powerful He really is!

If you maintain a close friendship with God, listen to His leading, and obey Him, He will lead and guide you. If you are truly trying to follow His will for your life and His desire is for you to marry, God will lead you to the person He intends for you to be with—your "soul mate."





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Catiana Nak Kheiyn is the webmaster and editor of 412teens.org and regularly teaches local young writers at her workshops. She also contributes at GotQuestions.org, Blogos.org, and GQkidz.org. When Catiana is not writing or hanging out with teens, she loves spending time with her family—a mountain man, an adorable little girl and boy, four socially awkward cats, and a curly-tailed dog.