Ah, relationships. They can get really complicated can't they? First he does this, then she does that, and before you know it, they need major counseling to know what to do next. A lot of the questions we get typically go something like: "I'm really into these two different guys. Which one should I choose to be my boyfriend?" Or, "I'm in a relationship, and my girlfriend did/said _________. Should I break up with her?"
These questions are very hard for us to answer because, well, to be honest, 412teens.org is not a Christian dating advice ministry. ☺
While we always try to tell you what the Bible has to say about specific questions regarding relationship problems, the Bible rarely specifically addresses the situations that are brought before us.
Life is messy and complicated and there are so many details to consider. Your specific situation has its own set of messiness, history, and variables. It's a math problem that has five million different ways to answer it. So you can see how it would be difficult to give wise counsel to a personal issue through an article like this one. And even if you could tell us everything about your situation, we really couldn't give adequate Christian relationship advice—only God can.
Only God knows both sides of the story and how the future will work out with any given scenario. He has the best perspective of anyone, so if we can help it, we try not to put words in His mouth by giving specific relationship advice to Christians.
Okay, all that said, we can give you some general advice when it comes to romantic relationships. Here it is: Go to God with your specific situation and listen for His answer through Scripture and Christian counsel. He already knows all the details; He will need no filling in or backstory; and He is the final Authority on our relationships anyway, so it makes sense to ask Him first.
Ask God to clearly reveal to you what He would have you do (Philippians 4:6-7). Ask Him to give you wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). God promises to answer prayer requests that are asked according to His will (1 John 5:14-15). Being wise and discerning are definitely God's will. God wants you to make good relationship choices, just as He wants you to be joyful and encouraged through your relationships—not heartbroken or stuck on an "it's complicated" status.
If you ask God with an open heart and humble spirit, He will give you the relationship advice you need—advice that is way better than what we can give! I mean, who gives better advice than the Creator of the world?!
Also, it doesn't hurt to try to find wise counsel with mature Christians who have been married for a long time and have walked with God for years. Ask your youth pastor (if he/she is married) or another mature church leader. Their years of experience make them well-qualified to give you wisdom based on their relationship experiences with God in their lives. Remember, God cares about your relationships, and He is willing and able to help you sort through any issues you may have with your latest crush or steady.
Go to God with your specific situation and listen for His answer through Scripture and Christian counsel. He already knows all the details; He will need no filling in or backstory; and He is the final Authority on our relationships. (See Philippians 4:6-7; James 1:5; 1 John 5:14-15.) God wants you to make good relationship choices, just as He wants you to be joyful and encouraged through your relationships—not heartbroken or stuck on an "it's complicated" status.
Lona is a 20-something Christian author from Tennessee whose first book, Continuer in Christ, was published in 2012. She is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Professional Christian Counseling. Lona has a colorful background as a journalist, youth minister, professional actress, tour guide, and currently a college tutor. She loves to spend time with her husband and dogs.