God's will for everyone, male or female, is to be saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, first and foremost. Then our goal should be to seek Christlikeness all throughout our lives. However, though both male and female are equal and made in God's image, God did make men and women with different attributes which add to our personal strengths. Likewise, sin affects men and women in different ways, presenting us with different challenges. The Bible has a lot to say about pursuing godliness for both men and women.
Just for fun, let's look at these biblical principles for women as the "ABC(DE)s" of being a godly woman.
A godly woman has a humble attitude—with gentleness, lovingkindness, and self-control. Today's media and culture glorifies selfishness, and everything is always about ourselves. But as God's children, we are to turn aside from that kind of attitude and embrace one of servanthood and love.
1 Peter 3:3-4 tells us that our beauty should come not from our outward appearance, but from "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." A godly woman doesn't complain (Philippians 2:14), but she works very hard and loves to serve those around her, including her husband, children, and household (Proverbs 31:13-17, 27).
As unmarried teenage girls, it's important to develop a spirit of humility and service to others. We should always seek to gain wisdom and be discerning about the choices we make (Psalm 119:125; 1 Corinthians 2:14; James 1:5). We must practice compassion, helping those in need in addition to our loved ones (Proverbs 31:20, 26). If you do get married in the future, this will be preparation to serve as wife to your future husband and mother to your children.
Side note: "Serve as wife" by no means implies wives are slaves to their husbands. The Bible is clear that husbands and wives are equals—just as God and Christ are equals. It's just that men and women play different roles in God's perfect design for marriage (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Going back to 1 Peter 3, we discover that inner beauty is far more valuable than outward beauty. This means we shouldn't put all our attention toward the latest hairstyles, makeup, jewelry, or fancy clothes, but rather our efforts should first be focused on our hearts, our inner beauty.
To be clear, there is NOTHING WRONG with doing hair or make up to look nice or choosing to wear nice clothes. The problem is when we give more attention to appearing pretty than we do to purifying the heart. When we allow these things to distract us from our relationship with the Lord and with others, we're idolizing our own outward appearance.
It's kind of a balance because God expects us to dress modestly and honor our bodies (1 Timothy 2:9-10)—to look decent and presentable. We are representations of Christ, so we should look our best, yet we need not put an overemphasis on the outside. A desire to look and feel beautiful is not a sin, but at the same time, we shouldn't live to please or get approval from others by trying to fit into the world's stylistic standards.
Our sense of worth, love, and fulfillment should never come from our own outward beauty or from the world's opinions of beauty. Rather, the knowledge that we are God's precious chosen daughters, unconditionally loved by the Creator of the Universe, should boost our confidence and sense of self-worth and value. The world could never sustain that feeling—not in a million years.
First, it's important to note that dating is not a sin. Being attracted to someone is not a sin. Wanting to develop a deeper friendship with someone of the opposite gender is not sin. However, for the Christian woman, the purpose of dating should have the consideration of future marriage in mind. A godly woman doesn't date "just for fun" or for temporary pleasures. To date for self-gratification isn't good for the heart and can be unfair to both people involved.
The Bible says it is God's will for believers to marry other believers, for both of you to be in the process of pursing a relationship with God first (2 Corinthians 6:14-18), and for you to remain sexually pure outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:12-20). If you have experienced sexual sin in the past, please don't give up hope. There is forgiveness for you, and it's never too late to repent from that sin. (For more marriage, read 1 Corinthians 7, plus check out our list of dating questions.)
That said, it is also perfectly acceptable to remain single. Even the Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, "I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." He's saying that there are two gifts from God: singleness and marriage. Both are valid, and both can bring fulfillment in a godly life. As an unmarried man, Paul could devote his entire life to spreading the gospel without worrying about taking care of his family. Do you think he would have been as useful a messenger if he had been married?
As a part of our genetic makeup, we girls are often more in tune with our emotions than our male counterparts. God has given us emotions to help us practice compassion, mercy, love, and generosity. We may feel strong emotions, but a godly woman doesn't let those emotions control her actions or run her life. Instead, she practices wisdom, filling her mind with God's Word and His Truth (Philippians 1:9-10). She balances a discernment of her feelings along with intelligent logic to respond to the world—not her raw, kneejerk, emotional response.
We are to take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ because the devil would love to knock us down (2 Corinthians 10:5). The more disciplined we can be in our thought life, the easier it will be to live a godly life. Along the same vein, godly women devote themselves to prayer (Colossians 4:2), and forgive others as Christ has forgiven us (Colossians 3:12-13). A godly woman does not hold grudges, harbor bitterness, or allow anger to rule her heart (Ephesians 4:26, 31-32).
For those who have received Christ as their Savior, God has given Holy Spirit as a guide. When we live in accordance with God's will, He will transform us into Christlikeness (Luke 10:27). If you haven't received Christ as your Savior, please take a moment to explore this vital decision.
Living a godly life is going to be a struggle because sin is always out there and will always be a weakness. But because we have the Holy Spirit, we no longer have to CHOOSE sin. We can choose godliness, and God will accomplish His good purpose within us. Stay in tune with the Lord through prayer, through His Word, and by surrounding yourself with godly women you admire.
If you don't know many other mature Christian women, you can always turn to Proverbs 31:10-31, which serves as a great example of godly womanhood to follow. The Bible speaks of many other godly women such as Sarah, Ruth, Esther, and Mary. God will equip you with everything you need to follow Him.
The Lord has the absolute best life designed for you, and all you have to do is follow Him. No, it won't be an easy road, but I promise it will be worth it.
A godly woman is loving, compassionate, gentle, and humble (Colossians 3:12). She spends more time making her heart beautiful than she does on her outward appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4). She remains focused on God's will for her life and doesn't allow the world to sway her (Romans 12:2). She balances her emotions with discernment, intellect, and logic when she interacts with others (Philippians 1:9-10). In her relationships, she seeks purity and sees godliness as her priority in a potential husband (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). When we focus on following Jesus, the things that don't really matter in life or don't fit into God's plan will start to blur into the background. May we become more intensely focused on who He is, who He says we are, and what His will for us looks like each day.
Stephanie is a 21-year old with a passion to see believers grow and become passionate in their relationship with the Lord. She is a lover of sweat tea, sunshine, and the freedom that comes from Christ. In her free time, she can be found singing, playing guitar, writing or jamming out to Hawk Nelson, Phil Wickham, and worship music. Her dreams are to become a worship leader and a published author, while living a life full of fun and joy that comes from the Lord.
