How can I stop being boy crazy?

I have struggled with almost the same exact thing, so I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through. When I was much younger, I was never really close to boys, but now that I'm older, I have friendships with guys, and it's easy for my (very overactive, imaginative) mind to wander. As hard as it can be, God has been teaching me quite a few things on this in the past couple years. Can I share them with you?

4 Things to Focus On:

  1. Less boyfriends, less heartache. Granted, I've never been in a romantic relationship, but I'm sorta thankful for that. I've had friends who have had boyfriends and have heard of the heartache they've been through. Failed relationships leave behind them a wake of trust issues, faith issues, and so much more pain.

    I'd like to think that the first guy I date will be the one I will marry. To focus on the end goal of one day getting married to the man God delivers to you will help you stay on the narrow track of not wanting to get involved with someone (even if only in your thoughts) because that could take away from your future with someone else. Not to mention it will save you the aching heart.
  2. Become who you need to be first. Again, thinking long term, before we're ready for any real relationships, we need to work on developing the person we need to be—first for God because it is His desire for His daughters, second for ourselves because of the joy faithfulness brings, and then for any future husband God brings because God calls for wives to be godly women. We do this by reading the Bible, praying, and focusing on practicing the words and actions of a child of God. If we want to get married to a strong, Christian husband, he should expect the same out of his wife she does from her husband.
  3. Know what you want so you don't settle for less. This is a big passion of mine. God does not want us to settle for less than His best for us. He doesn't want you to end up with someone that "will do". He wants you to date and marry someone who is the best choice for YOU (and where YOU are the best choice for him). 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 tells us not to be "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever, meaning we need to be in relationships with other believers. But not just any believer—we need husbands who are totally committed to God.

    The role of a husband in marriage is to "make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:26-27). The husband should be leading the wife closer to God. This should be the most important quality in a man when we're looking for someone. That they love Jesus even more than us, and in turn will love us to the best of their capabilities.
  4. Finally, because all the others ones can fail, wait quietly before God, for our victory comes from Him. Psalm 62:1-2 says, "I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken." I love this. Especially when things start getting in your head and you start to daydream, recite this verse and it will help you snap out of it. To wait quietly before the Lord, to quiet the thoughts, the noises, the replays—all of it. To clear your mind and wait quietly before God. There is a lot of peace in that.

    When we do this, He will help us and give us the victory we need. The very Word of God can be our help and our strength and can help us out of every temptation. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure."

Even if thoughts of boyfriends and romance remain only in our thoughts, it can lead to lust and adultery in our hearts, both which are sins and can cause us future damage as it shapes ideals of future relationships in the mind. Not to mention that any sin will hurt our relationship with God, because that's what sin does.

I know it's a struggle, but hang in there! God is good and God is faithful. He's so good that He even helps us with our boy problems!


The Word of God can be our help and our strength and can help us out of every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Even if fantasies of boyfriends and romance remain only in our thoughts, it can lead to lust and adultery in our hearts, both which are sins and can cause us future damage as it shapes ideals of future relationships in the mind. If you're feeling boy crazy, turn your focus toward God and becoming a godly woman. If God plans for you to marry, He will bring the right man to you. Your job now is to live for God—not for a future boyfriend or husband.

Writer: Stephanie T.

Stephanie is a 21-year old with a passion to see believers grow and become passionate in their relationship with the Lord. She is a lover of sweat tea, sunshine, and the freedom that comes from Christ. In her free time, she can be found singing, playing guitar, writing or jamming out to Hawk Nelson, Phil Wickham, and worship music. Her dreams are to become a worship leader and a published author, while living a life full of fun and joy that comes from the Lord.

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