How can I stop being boy crazy?

Many a human being has struggled with the exact same thing, so please know that you're not alone. When I was much younger, I was never really close to boys, but as I got older and developed friendships with guys, it was all too easy for my (very overactive, imaginative) mind to wander. As hard as it was, God taught me quite a few things during this "waiting period" of my life. Can I share them with you?

Less dating, less heartache.

Granted, I was never in a romantic relationship in my teens, but I'm sorta thankful for that. I have friends who have had multiple boyfriends and have heard tales of the heartache they've been through. Failed relationships leave behind a wake of trust issues, faith issues, and so much more pain.

Praise God that the first guy I ever dated was the man I would choose to marry. I'm so grateful for my resolve to focus on the end goal of only considering the man God would bring into my life for marriage. That mindset helped me stay focused on God's plan and not on getting involved with every interesting man I met—even if only in my thoughts.

If I had dated before I met my husband, those experiences might have taken away from what we have today. Not to mention that I avoided unnecessary heartaches and rejection.

Become who you need to be first.

Thinking long term, before we're ready for any real relationships, we need to work on developing the person we need to be—for God and for ourselves. For God, because it is His desire for us to be holy and righteous to the best of our ability, so that needs to be our goal too. For ourselves, because we are worth loving and caring for too. The true joy faithfulness brings is for us, for God, and for any future husband God brings.

We are called to be godly women, and we do this by reading the Bible, praying, and focusing on practicing the words and actions of a child of God. A strong Christian marriage is dependent upon both the husband and wife committing themselves to the Lord and to one another.

Have standards, and don't settle for less.

Knowing what I wanted in my future husband was a big passion of mine. God does not want us to settle for less than His best for us. He doesn't want us to date or marry someone who will hurt us, neglect us, or abuse us. God's desire is for us to date and marry someone who is the best choice for each of us individually—and where WE are the best choice for HIM as well.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 tells us not to be "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever, meaning any romantic relationships ought to be with other followers of Christ. But not just any man who says he's a Christian; we need husbands who are totally committed to God.

The role of a husband in marriage is to "make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:26-27). A husband should be leading his wife closer to God—just as he commits to holiness before God. This commitment to holiness should be the most important quality we look for. They ought to love Jesus at least as much as we do, and, in turn, will love us to the best of their capabilities.

Wait quietly before God, for our victory comes from Him.

"I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken." —Psalm 62:1-2

I love these verses. Especially when things start getting in your head and you start to daydream, recite this verse and, hopefully, it will help you snap out of it. In those moments of frustration, when you want to scream at God, "Why is this taking so long?" I pray that you will seek to wait quietly before the Lord, to quiet the thoughts, the noises, the replays—all of it. To clear your mind and wait quietly before God.

There can be a lot of peace in the waiting. When we do this, He will help us and bring us the victory we need. The very Word of God can be our help and our strength and can help us out of every temptation.

The Importance of Overcoming Temptations

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure." —1 Corinthians 10:13

If romantic fantasies remain circling in our thoughts constantly, it can lead to lust and adultery in our hearts. Lust is a sin as it causes future damage by shaping unrealistic ideals and images that are not healthy to dwell upon. Not to mention that lustful thoughts damage our relationship with God (because that's what sin does). Ask God to help you overcome those temptations.

I know it can be a struggle, friend, but hang in there! God is good, and He is faithful. And His timing is absolutely perfect. If God plans for you to marry, He will bring the right man to you. Your purpose is to live for God—not for a future romance that may be fleeting.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." —Ecclesiastes 3:1

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