Insecurity is defined as "lacking confidence or assurance; self-doubt." We can feel insecure in our friendships, family relationships, and even insecure about ourselves. Insecurity toward ourselves is often described as not feeling comfortable in our own skin. As Christians, we have a solid, unshakeable foundation in God—the only person, place, or thing in the universe who is 100% trustworthy and reliable (Jeremiah 17:7-8). But even with that promise of security, why do we feel so insecure so often?
Patterns of insecurity can develop for many different reasons over time, but the root cause of insecurity often comes back to misplaced trust. Sometimes we place too much or the wrong kind of trust in someone or something without even knowing it.
Maybe you've been told your whole life that you're worthless, insufficient, or unworthy of love. If that's all you've ever heard, then you're likely to believe it because you don't have a second option to believe in. Maybe you've been told that if you get good grades, you'll get into the college you want. Or if you just got a boyfriend/girlfriend, you'd be emotionally fulfilled. Or if you can just get that amazing car/job/thing, you'd finally make friends with the cool kids.
But... Then you get the good grades and still don't get into your choice college. Or you do get that relationship you wanted, but you find you're still spiritually/mentally/emotionally lonely. That's when trust starts to break down. You find yourself asking, "If my trust in that idea was broken, then how many other ways will my trust be broken? What else can shift when I'm not expecting it? What will I do when/if that shifts?" Suddenly, you don't know who or what to trust and become fearful of being hurt or betrayed.
If you've struggled with insecurity for a while, you've likely heard the advice to "just trust in God." Unfortunately, switching your object of trust to God doesn't happen overnight. And it doesn't help that Satan is always looking for ways to make us doubt God (Ephesians 6:12; 1 Peter 5:8) and His trustworthiness! Instead of trusting in God to give you the good, godly friends you need, maybe Satan has you believing God will provide that fancy phone or the $50 makeup kit that might raise your social status (1 Timothy 6:17). Maybe instead of trusting God to care for your missing animal as He sees fit (Matthew 10:29), Satan has you trusting that God will return your pet to you only if you do specific things.
Are you trusting in a specific means of provision? Are you entrusting your security to good grades, acceptance by friends, approval of your parents? Are you trusting in a college degree to get you a good career and a good life? Or are you trusting God's promises to care for you and love you—even if you don't fully understand how God will do it?
We want to clarify that it's not WRONG to trust. Trust is needed for any healthy relationship! But it's important to be wise about who we trust, how much we trust, and which people we trust with what information. Clear as mud? Sorry... Here's an example:
If a friend promises you that your parents are going to get back together, that they aren't going to get divorced, then that friend is making a promise they can never keep. They can't guarantee what will happen, therefore the promise is untrustworthy. In the future, you'd be wise to be leery of taking any promises from that person too seriously since they've promised things they can't control (Matthew 5:33-37). A promise is a big deal!
But...maybe this same friend is great at answering your texts when you feel down. Maybe they're excellent at encouraging you or knowing when you need a friend-night. They aren't necessarily a terrible friend because they make flippant promises. They're just not going to be the type of friend who you would want to trust implicitly with something really important. Does that make sense?
People are flawed. We live in a fallen world with broken people. Parents, pastors, and other authority figures aren't perfect either. If we place the expectation of perfection on another person, we'll be disappointed every time—and they may implode from the pressure! Only Jesus is 100% secure and reliable (Isaiah 28:16); any human being who claims the ability to fulfill our every need entirely is 100% lying.
As we said, shifting our foundation of trust to God doesn't happen overnight. Maybe you feel let down by God. Maybe you have trouble trusting anyone at all—much less a spiritual being you cannot see. But we urge you to pray for victory in that battle (Philippians 4:6-7). Ask God to help you process your disappointments and fears. Ask Him to show you where you're misplacing your trust. Ask Him for wisdom about establishing healthy boundaries and expectations for yourself and others. Ask God to build your identity in HIM, the unchangeable (Malachi 3:6), loving (1 John 4:7-21), all-knowing (1 John 3:20) Creator of the universe.
Secondly, learn more about who God is. That is a tall order, for sure, but knowing God more personally can be truly rewarding. The more you know about God's character, the easier it is to rely on Him as a source of security—not an unknown source of fear. God is not some judgmental figure in the sky, waiting for you mess up. Instead, He loves you so much that He sent His Son into the world to reach YOUR heart (and the hearts of all mankind) to rescue you from the enslavement of sin and darkness.
As children of God, we have 100% security in His love, grace, and mercy. God is willing and desiring to embrace and comfort you—if only you will let Him. Study His promises and discover just how much He desires to make you not only feel secure but actually BE secure.
Insecurity is defined as "lacking confidence or assurance; self-doubt." Insecurity can come from anywhere—from seeds of doubt in God to Satan's misdirection of our security/trust into things like money, good grades, status, health, and people (Ephesians 6:12; 1 Peter 5:8). As Christians, we have an unshakeable foundation in an unchanging God (Jeremiah 17:7-8; Malachi 3:6), but we often struggle to trust Him anyway. Healthy relationships require different degrees of trust, but we should be wise about who we trust and with how much. Shifting our foundation of trust to God doesn't happen overnight, but don't lose hope! Ask God for guidance, wisdom, and clarity on what you need to do (Philippians 4:6-7). Study His promises and discover just how much He desires to make you not only feel secure but actually BE secure.
September Grace is an aspiring novelist, book
hoarder collector, and movie watcher. She has a black feline floof named Faust, an assortment of plants that seek global domination, and a distinct lack of awareness for where she is at any given moment.