Who hasn't felt like they live in a competition-based world? It's hard, isn't it? We are constantly told how to look, talk, dress, and even think. It's ridiculous. No matter what we do, there is always that comparison and competition there—looming over us like a giant, dark cloud.
And most of it is in our own heads.
Sometimes I tell myself that if I don't draw as well as the kid next to me, I've failed and should give up. Every time I sing, that terror of not being "good enough" inches into my joy. If I don't sound as good as the others, I'll ruin everything. Do you ever feel like that? Like you could never measure up in talent or beauty or whatever to the people around you?
Beneath an exterior of confidence and practiced ease, deep down, I'm terrified that I don't measure up. I'm like a swan. On the surface, it looks like I'm gliding along smoothly, coolly. But under the surface, I'm paddling like crazy just to keep up. Tell me I'm not the only one who feels like that...
Here's what I keep having to remind myself though: God doesn't see us like we see ourselves.
When we tell ourselves that we are awful at everything and that we aren't good enough, it breaks His heart because He made us exactly how He intended to. Psalm 139:13-16 says:
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
We are His children, and He loves us more than we will ever be able to understand. His love is a vast ocean, and our brains are comparatively like bottles, receiving a drop at a time. It's impossible to fully contain or understand the vastness and intensity of His love.
I encourage you to remember this next time you are afraid that you're not good enough: PRAY.
Ask God to show you what you're good at and ask for His eyes when He sees you. You are a precious treasure to God, and He delights in your very existence. The fact that you are alive is a fact that He takes joy in. Seeing the good things you do brings Him gladness. You could draw a stick figure picture for Him, and He would love it more than you can ever imagine. You are God's work of art, and He takes pride in you.—Lucy
p.s. I highly suggest you read all of Psalm 139.
Lucy is a bundle of awkward, rock n' roll, and dreams—with a heart recklessly in love with her Savior.