The problem with being told to "Trust God" is it's really, really hard.
Especially when you think you're doing what He wants you to do, and you're excited just like "Yesss. I am doing what God wants me to do! Heck yeah! This is happening! Gonna be a super Christian or something, right?" and then it gets ripped from your grasp.
It feels like betrayal. And you just end up utterly gutted.
But something we need to remember is that God did not fail us. Man fails. God does not.
I do believe that there are things God points us to. I really do. But I also don't think that He has some list where He checks off all the little boxes of our lives, perfectly lined up.
God isn't just some comical entity, but I think we forget sometimes that He doesn't have some specific, rigid plan for us. We're allowed to be us while still glorifying Him. I heard a pastor in Nashville speak, and he said it phenomenally: "God does not care what you do. He cares who you are."
And that just, that took so much pressure off me. There isn't a place where God says, "So, here's you're schedule. You're gonna be born in '98 and then you have to follow this plan TO THE LETTER or you're not good enough for Me."
At the same time, it makes life easier and harder. On the one hand, you can be you. But you also have the fear that you're not doing it right.
I try to find the happy medium. I know there are specific things that only I can do, I just have to trust God to take me to them and guide me into being a better me.
Lucy is a bundle of awkward, rock n' roll, and dreams—with a heart recklessly in love with her Savior.