We all have things we're good at or are worthy of compliments. Maybe you're a talented athlete or artist? A generous friend? A diligent worker? Whatever your talent, skill, or gifting is, eventually someone will want to give you a compliment. So how will you respond?
Sometimes we're taught that receiving a compliment is the same as being self-centered or prideful. That if we say, "thank you," then we're somehow taking away from God's glory. But that just isn't true!
As a young musician, receiving compliments was a challenge for me. I was a bashful and shy pre-teen with very low confidence, and I struggled to receive compliments graciously. If someone told me how beautiful my voice was, I would get terribly uncomfortable and even embarrassed. I didn't think I was "allowed" to be complimented—that it was somehow wrong to say "thank you" when someone said nice things to me. Can you relate?
Let's flip the script for a second so we can see that compliments are beautiful little gifts we give to benefit others. If you have a friend who is spectacular at something (like baking, drawing, or fixing things) or they're one of those super supportive friends who checks up on you and sends memes to cheer you up or they have an amazing sense of style, then it makes sense to praise them on occasion, right? When we admire something in someone, our natural inclination may be to express that admiration out loud in the form of a compliment.
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." —Hebrews 10:24-25
Our words act as gifts that can bring joy, happiness, and encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Proverbs 16:24 tells us that "gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." Ephesians 4:29 advises that we should use words that are "good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Our words can remind someone that they're worthy of love and that they matter to us.
If we compliment someone, and they reject those words, it might be confusing to us. Maybe they don't think they "deserve" those words or feel embarrassed to be praised. It's still clear to US that they're perfectly worthy of the compliment, but, if you're anything like me, then you GET IT. It's hard to receive those compliments sometimes. So how can we receive compliments with grace and humility?
Accepting the gift of a compliment with grace and humility benefits both US and the person giving the compliment. It's totally OK (and even healthy!) to acknowledge your God-given gifts, skills, or talents. God won't be mad at you for accepting a compliment that makes you feel good. Compliments may very well be a gift from Him, given to you through another person. And it's OK to receive that.
Since God is the giver of all good things, we must acknowledge the One who gave us those "complimentable" attributes in the first place. James 1:17 says that "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." God made you as you are, and as your Creator, He is responsible for the way you're put together, how your mind works, and for allowing your talents and skills to emerge (Psalm 139:13-16).
Thanking God for the gifts He's given us helps keep us humble (Philippians 2:3). Keeping this perspective helps us avoid the practice of boasting about ourselves (1 Corinthians 4:7). Rather than claiming, "Look at what God gave ME ME ME," we can acknowledge His part in the creation of us by praying, "Thank you, God, for gracing me with this beautiful gift. Help me to bless others with what you have given me."
For those of us who struggle with low self-esteem, it can be tempting to gather together any compliments we receive and use them to remind ourselves we are worthy to be alive. Compliments that we are exceptional or beautiful or intelligent may provide a short-term happiness high. But relying on compliments to provide personal confidence or a sense of self-worth will eventually lead to disappointment and shame. Sadly, when the stream of compliments diminishes, so can our view of ourselves.
"For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." —Proverbs 3:26
Psalm 118:8-9 says that it's "better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes." If we put our confidence in others' approval, our confidence will crumble in the end. If, instead, we look to God as our source of confidence, we will never be ashamed (Romans 10:11). We have enormous value in God's eyes (Luke 12:6-7). And as brothers and sisters of Christ, we are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17), made God's image in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:24), and worthy of eternal joy in Heaven (Romans 8:17).
During worship time at a church event, I was singing behind a few girls my age. When it came to greeting time, one of them excitedly turned around and said, "Your singing is so beautiful!" I simply said something like, "Thank you! That's sweet of you to say!" I did not deflect or reject her compliment; I graciously received it and thanked God for the impact I can have in expressing worship through music.
The next time someone gives you a compliment, I challenge you to receive it with a sincere "thank you." There's no need to make yourself smaller or reject the compliment. It's OK to enjoy the gift! Allow those kind words to "sweeten" your life, as Proverbs 16:24 says. Be encouraged and keep sharing the wonderful gifts God has given you.
Compliments are gifts of words that can bring joy, happiness, and encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Proverbs 16:24 tells us that "gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." Accepting the gift of a compliment with grace and humility benefits both US and the person giving the compliment. God won't be mad at you for accepting a compliment that makes you feel good. Compliments may very well be a gift from Him, given to you through another person. And it's OK to receive that. Allow those kind words to "sweeten" your life. Be encouraged and keep sharing the wonderful gifts God has given you.
Grace is a passionate writer and musician who desires to radiate Christ's light in a generation of teens and young adults navigating their life in a world of spiritual darkness. Recent founder of Christian rock band Lighthouse Saints, she desires to spread the message of God’s truth and love through her songwriting and voice! Grace is also an aspiring freelancer who has worked professionally in writing, editing, and social media content creation. In her free time, Grace enjoys meeting new people, reading lots of books, jamming out with her friends, and writing (sometimes overly dramatic) poetry.
