Look up questions:
Yes, it's still us. This is our new logo. LOL What do you think?
Yes, it's still us. This is our new logo. LOL What do you think?
Falling in love is not like picking and choosing from items on a shelf. You cannot really decide who you'll fall in love with. So it's not like we can say, "Don't be attracted to this person or that person" or even "make sure you're only attracted to this kind of person," because that would be very hard to do. Sometimes you fall in love with someone and later find out that they have some sort of secret sin that will badly affect your relationship. But it's too late at that point; you love them already.
When you are considering whether to pursue a friend romantically, the most important thing to do is keep God at the forefront of every decision. And of course, prayer is a big part of it! James 1:5 says, "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." God will help you decide if this is the right person to pursue for marriage.
Since every person is an individual and each situation is unique, then it is impossible to say that a certain person should be avoided or that another certain person is going to be perfect for you. The only exception to that is where the Bible instructs us not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). That is, we should not get romantically involved with someone who does not also follow Christ.
Talk to your loved ones and friends who know you (and preferably the other person too). This can help you get a wider perspective and outside opinions regarding compatibility. If you need to break it off with the other person, they may be able to help you find the words to say.
Prayer is going to be your biggest source for answers here. This may seem like a trite answer, but it's true that only God knows your and the other person's unique situations and life stories and whether a marriage would work out for you both. If you do not feel that you have an answer from God yet, then wait. He may be telling you "no" or "not now," and you need to be prepared for that too.
If you feel you have fallen in love with the wrong person due to red flags that have emerged, or the timing isn't right, or your lives' paths are simply divergent, then that's totally OK. There's no reason to be ashamed or guilty about it.
Yes, it hurts. Perhaps mistakes were made. But you are allowed to forgive yourself for any part you played and choose to start over today. You will make it through until tomorrow.
God will help give you the strength and courage you need to let them go (Isaiah 40:31; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Psalm 28:7). You may always have a special place in your heart for them, but if you know it isn't right, you must stand by your conviction.
Trust that God sees a bigger picture than you do. He loves you deeply, and He does not want you to fail in life or be miserable forever. Sometimes means that He will not give us what we want when we want it, because He knows the positive or negative results of our truest desires.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5). After all, He made you and knows what would make or break your heart.
Like the old songs say, sometimes you can't help falling in love. When you're deciding whether to pursue someone romantically, keep God at the forefront of every decision. Seek advice from loved ones and pray for wisdom (James 1:5). Be prepared for any answer—even one you may not want to hear. If you do not feel this is the right person, then ask God for the strength and courage to let them go. Trust that God sees the bigger picture and will not leave you (Proverbs 3:5).
Cat is the web producer and editor of 412teens.org. She is known as "412teens" on the 412teens Discord. She loves audiobooks, feeding the people she cares about, and using Christmas lights to illuminate a room. When Catiana is not cooking, gardening, or practicing creativity, she enjoys spending time with her two kids, five socially-awkward cats, and her amazing friend-amily.
