How can I be honorable?

"Outdo one another in showing honor." —Romans 12:10

The Bible says that we should present ourselves as "honorable" by others—including non-believers—but that our primary obligation is to God. Following Jesus in faith may lead to views and actions that others find disagreeable. We can't control whether others are irritated because they disagree. We can only be sure it's not because we've been arrogant or rude.

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night." —Psalm 1:1-2

What does it mean to be honorable?

To be biblically honorable is to hold ourselves to a high moral standard, to be considered trustworthy and respectful, and to be regarded as a person with integrity. This can manifest in lots of different ways through our words and actions.

Respect for authority (Romans 13:1-7) includes parents, classrooms, teachers, workplaces, and bosses. So, it's not "honorable" to be disruptive in a way that disturbs your class or workplace for no good reason. But there's a difference between someone who occasionally slips and is disruptive versus the one who is frequently that way. Infrequent mistakes don't have the same implications as habits. Do your best to present yourself in a respectful way to those around you and toward those who have authority over you, such as parents, teachers, and supervisors at work.

Stand up for what is God-honoring, ethical, and morally right—regardless of what others think or what the majority has agreed to. Disagreement is not always a sin. In fact, the Bible tells us to be cautiously skeptical (Acts 17:11; 1 John 4:1). Asking parents, teachers, pastors, or other authorities to explain their positions is perfectly moral (Proverbs 18:17). We should always do so respectfully though—without the intent to hurt or insult others with our words.

Expressing a different opinion is also fine, so long as it's done respectfully (1 Peter 3:15-17). Some parents, teachers, or employers will think that anyone who questions them is "rebelling," but that's not true. The student who acts as if the teacher is foolish (or refuses to listen) is the "rebel." The student who wants to know "why" he should believe something (instead of just "what" to believe) has taken the more honorable approach.

"The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will." —2 Timothy 2:24-26

None of us are perfect.

We're going to make mistakes, and people will notice them. That's a part of being human. But they'll also notice whether our sins are the exception—or the rule. If we're humble and careful, apologizing when we should and making good choices, they'll see that as well—and Christ will be honored.

We don't need to present ourselves as sinless (1 John 1:8). We need others to see that we do recognize our weaknesses and flaws—and that we can be patient with theirs. One of the important lessons of 1 Peter 2:12 is living a life that's its own defense. If you prove you're a decent, honorable person, those who call you evil or immoral will look terrible in the eyes of others.

"Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." —1 Peter 2:12

How to Practice Being Honorable

Take time to regularly examine yourself, your words, and your actions—both before and after interactions with others. How would another person who doesn't know you react to what you're about to say or do? Are they likely to be hurt or unnecessarily offended? To misunderstand? To misinterpret? If so, it might make sense to change your plans or take a different approach (1 Corinthians 8:12-13).

Be sure that what you're about to say or do matches what God would want (Romans 14:23). Do you know enough about a subject to make a challenge or propose a different idea (Proverbs 18:13)? Are you phrasing things respectfully and politely (Proverbs 15:1)? Are you surrounding yourself with people who draw you closer to honorable conduct—or who tempt you towards sin (Proverbs 13:20; 1 Corinthians 15:33)?

Maintain prayer (James 1:5) and rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit. There's no "magic formula" to being honorable. We just need to strive to do the right thing in each moment, as guided by God (1 Corinthians 10:13). And when we make mistakes, we ought to own up to them and choose to make changes for the better.

Sometimes, we may need to make others unhappy to be truly "honorable" (Acts 5:29). But when we seek to obey God's will, we're leaving that decision between them and God. Know that God understands exactly what you're going through (Hebrews 4:15–16), and He's looking for reasons to help you grow—not to be angry with you.

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