How can I know when to leave a church?

"Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God." —1 Peter 2:16

Some of the most important aspects of being a follower of Christ can happen in the local church. In church, we can worship God, learn from His Word, and develop relationships with other believers.

But not all churches are created equally, and sometimes you just get a feeling that something's off.

How can we tell if it's time to leave the church we're attending? Are there any obvious red flags? Well, maybe it would help to look closer at what the Bible says about how the church is supposed to function. If we know what a biblical church community looks like, then we can better discern whether a church is following that biblical standard.

Biblical Standards for the Church

"Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts." —Colossians 3:16 (NLT)

When the first Christian churches were established, they were to be "pillars" to hold up and support this new family of believers and serve as a "foundation" on which the connection between Christ and the fallen world could be built and nurtured (1 Timothy 3:15). Churches should be known for showing the deep love and mercy of Jesus (Ephesians 3:10; Ephesians 4:15-16).

Healthy churches will openly acknowledge Jesus' authority over them and the authority of God's Word above all else (Ephesians 1:22; Colossians 1:18). Leadership, staff, and volunteers will serve the church body and local community in humility and submission to God (James 4:7; Colossians 3:23).

Every part of a church—from service and youth programs to staff and pastors to outreach and worship—will point back toward what Jesus called the two greatest commandments: fully loving God and loving others as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:28-34; Matthew 22:37-39).

People in a healthy church community will support and encourage one another and present the fruit of the Spirit (Hebrews 10:25; Galatians 5:22-23). They will be unified in Christ and steadfast in their desire to grow in their faith together (Ephesians 4:11-14).

Red Flags for Unhealthy Churches

"Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people's faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them." —Romans 16:17 (NLT)

Unbiblical Teaching

Early church leaders were instructed to protect the members of the church and to be on their guard against false teachers (Acts 20:28-29). False or unbiblical teaching is one of the biggest red flags to look for (1 John 4:1; 2 Peter 2:1). The Bible should be the ultimate authority in all teachings of the church (2 Timothy 3:16).

An Unloving Congregation

If the people at a church are prone to gossip, are unnecessarily judgmental, or lack compassion and love for others, that is definitely a red flag (Romans 14:10-13; Proverbs 16:28). Followers of Christ should be motivated by love in all they do (1 Corinthians 13).

Some other warning signs are lack of focus on humanitarian efforts, extreme or persistent commands to contribute financially, or even promoting praying to the dead (1 Peter 4:10; 1 Timothy 6:9-10; Deuteronomy 18:11).

If You Want to Leave a Church

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." —James 1:19 (NLT)

If those red flags are waving in your local church, then bring your concerns to God (James 1:5). It may also help to talk to someone outside the church about what you're experiencing to get another perspective (Proverbs 18:15).

If possible, you try speaking with church leadership about your concerns, and perhaps that will bring some kind of resolution (Matthew 18:15-17). We should strive for forgiveness, love, and unity whenever possible (John 13:34-35; Colossians 3:13; John 17:21-23)—not bitterness or division (Ephesians 4:31-32). But of course, that's not always an option.

If you feel that God is guiding you away from an unhealthy church, then it's OK to leave. You don't need to announce anything if it isn't appropriate. In fact, it would be wise to leave without creating unnecessary drama or conflict within the church (Proverbs 6:19; 1 Corinthians 1:10). You can choose to leave, but you don't need to slam the door on your way out (James 1:19).

Look for a church that proudly teaches from the Bible, recognizes God's authority, compassionately supports and encourages believers in all stages of life, and shows a heart of mercy, service, and love for the community. The purpose of the church is clearly outlined in Ephesians 4:11-14. Use this passage to guide you in choosing a church that will help you follow those two greatest commandments.

"Jesus replied, 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself." —Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)

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