How can I stop judging people?

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged..." —Matthew 7:1

Judging others too harshly is a problem a lot of people have. It's almost human nature to compare ourselves to others, and sometimes we end up with negative thoughts about somebody else. Sometimes our own sense of insecurity or low self worth causes us to look down on those around us.

If you recognize that these aren't godly or Christlike character traits, that's an excellent first step. When you're tempted to judge and condemn others, remember that everyone shares the same brokenness with God—including you (Romans 3:23). We've all sinned. We've all messed up. And, by God's standards, we're ALL worthy of His judgement and condemnation (Romans 6:23).

However, the great news is if you've accepted Jesus as your personal Savior, then you are no longer condemned (Romans 8:1-2). Instead of judgement from God, you've received grace, love, and mercy (Colossians 2:13-15). Plus, you have the Holy Spirit living within you (John 14:26), and He can help change you from the inside out—helping you change the way you look at others and how you treat them (Galatians 5:22-23).

Jesus Commands Us to Love

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." —John 13:34

As followers of Christ, we are commanded to extend love and mercy to others. It's not always natural, and, at times, it's certainly not easy. That's where the Holy Spirit comes in. We can call on Him every time the temptation to judge and condemn comes, and, through His power, He'll help us resist that temptation and choose a better response (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Even though love can be difficult, we mut be WILLING to extend compassion over condemnation. Be WILLING to see their perspective and not just your own (James 1:19). Be WILLING to understand them beyond what they look like, do, or say (John 7:24). Though the Spirit will guide you, you still have to make the decision to hold your tongue and/or crush condemning thoughts.

Remember What's at Stake

When a person calls themselves a Christian, their interactions with the world will be interpreted by others through that lens. We're called to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16), to be Jesus' hands and feet, and to tell others the Good News of salvation and God's love (Matthew 28:18-20).

When a self-proclaimed Christian begins to condemn strangers, say hateful things, or generally show zero tolerance of people's differences, then they are misrepresenting who Jesus is and what God is like.

"Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son." —2 John 1:9

When You're Tempted to Judge

"Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly." —John 7:24

There are times when judgement is right, but there's also a godly way to bring sin to someone's attention. We should be wise, truthful, humble, gentle, and merciful. We should also be sure that we're not being hypocritcal and ignoring our own sin while judging someone else (Matthew 7:1-5).

If you're tempted to judge another person, first do a heart and motivation check. Is this a wise judgment? Do you have all the facts? Do you understand their perspective? Do you understand what the Bible says about this situation? Why do you want to bring their attention to this thing? Are you motivated by love and care or by anger and annoyance?

To simply judge a person based on their appearance, reputation, gossip, or rumors is foolishness (John 7:24; Proverbs 18:13; Luke 7:36-50). And if you don't have the kind of relationship with that person where they would welcome any sort of individual correction, then it's actually not your place to say anything.

God Can Help You Love

Because God commands that we love one another, He will always answer the prayer to help us love others more. He's also the author of love—it's who He is! He can certainly empower us and fill us up with love for others.

If you're dealing with feelings of insecurity, low self worth, or you don't feel loved yourself, ask God to help you experience His love. Spend time with Him in prayer. Meditate on His Word and the great things He's done for us. Through the love He gives us, our love for others can increase.

"As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." —Galatians 6:10

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