When We Disagree on Religion

"The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God." —1 Corinthians 1:18 (NLT)

When our loved ones don't share our faith, our conversations and relationships often have an extra layer of struggle and challenge. If we're making God a big part of our lives, as we should, then it can be frustrating to have those we're closest to living a very different lifestyle. It might be awkward to share excitement about what God is doing in our lives when the other person doesn't even believe He exists.

When Friends Disagree

It's not easy to disagree with loved ones about anything, but when it comes to religion, some people can be downright aggressive about their disagreements (John 15:18-21). In some cases, this might mean just agreeing to disagree, and not trying to convince them of your point of view right now.

When a conversation starts to become tense, it may be best to just let things be and come back to the topic later. You don't have to "win" arguments, and you aren't responsible for converting your friends or family to exactly the "right" doctrines.

If they're willing to listen, then it could be a good opportunity to show them what a real faith looks like, providing evidence from your own life that God is real and does what He promises. Not every conversation has to be a gospel presentation. Just live your life as Christlike as you can (even if imperfectly), loving and respecting others, admitting mistakes, and taking responsibility for your words and actions.

When Parents Disagree

The hardest part, for a Christian teen, is how to balance the command to honor our parents (Exodus 20:12; 1 Peter 2:7) with the command to honor God (1 Corinthians 10:31). We CAN do both, but it sometimes means making a hard choice, and knowing when "honoring" no longer includes "obeying."

When you discuss these areas of disagreement with your parents, the most important thing you need to demonstrate is respect. Right or wrong, good or bad, we must continue to honor our parents (Matthew 19:19).

To be clear, this doesn't always mean we need to "obey" them, since no authority on earth can command us to disobey God (Acts 5:29). But honor requires us to be polite, truthful, and humble towards them. Even if THEY aren't polite or truthful or kind towards us, it's still extremely important that we choose to act in a Christlike manner.

Opposing Worldviews

"Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." —1 Corinthians 10:31 (NLT)

A Christian worldview says, "I'm accountable to God," and so we ought to make decisions from that frame of reference—like making choices that glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31). A Christian worldview says that honesty is paramount, and therefore lying is wrong (Proverbs 10:9; Proverbs 12:22).

A non-Christian's worldview likely won't consider the Bible or God's will, so they won't see God as an ultimate authority to hold them accountable. Someone who decides they have no authority to answer to is more likely to just do whatever they want—regardless of any moral consideration.

The Consequences of Faith

"Your enemies will be right in your own household!" —Matthew 10:36 (NLT)

If you have to choose between obeying God and obeying or agreeing with a faithless worldview, the Bible makes it very clear that obedience to God comes first. But keep in mind that that doesn't include resisting punishment. You must respectfully accept whatever consequences come your way as part of the cost of faith (Luke 14:28; James 1:2).

The more your loved ones see you as a Christlike, well-informed, loving person, the more likely it is they'll take your views of faith and Scripture seriously. As frustrating as it might be, co-existing with loved ones when you don't see eye-to-eye on important beliefs is often a part of life. And if you can't manage to be loving and careful with those closest to you, it'll be that much harder to be a good witness to the rest of the world.

Be encouraged, then, knowing you can be there to explain the truth when the time is right. Rest assured that these kinds of disagreements are not weird or uncommon. It IS possible to be effective and helpful in pointing your loved ones toward Christ, without feeling the need to "win" when you talk to them.

It's not always easy to live the Christian life, but even Jesus said that we'd be met with some trouble if we are to follow Him (John 16:33). The effort is so worth it though—for a life of serving God is one full of purpose and joy that lasts.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." —John 16:33 (NLT)

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