How can I avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms?

CW: depression, anxiety, self harm, substance abuse

"Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." — —Psalm 55:22 (NLT)

A coping mechanism is anything we use to deal with problems, suffering, hurt, stress, anxieties, or painful memories. Reaching for an aspirin helps us cope with a headache. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten before responding helps us cope with an insult. While coping mechanisms are not inherently sinful, not all coping mechanisms are healthy ways of dealing with things.

Some coping mechanisms can cause even more damage both physically and emotionally, such as self-harm, alcohol or drugs, or other destructive behavior. Acting upon revenge or anger may feel good in the moment, but God offers healing if we leave the vengeance up to Him (Romans 12:19). Living to please people may make you feel loved for a while, but loving others as God loves builds more sincere relationships (Galatians 1:10). These coping mechanisms may offer temporary relief, but this kind of behavior can easily lead to addiction, physical injury, and ruined relationships (Romans 13:13).

Coping Mechanism Alternatives

There are healthy and unhealthy ways of handling problems and coping with difficulties. Instead of using a harmful way to cope, try a more beneficial option:

• Instead of reaching for a bottle → reach for a Bible (Psalm 19:17).
• Instead of shouting profanities → talk to God about your anger and frustrations (Psalm 17:13).
• Instead of plotting revenge → overcome evil with good (Romans 12:17-21).
• Instead of ranting on social media → seek the support of trusted friends (Proverbs 12:15).
• Instead of harboring hatred → take your burdens to Jesus (Matthew 5:4).
• Instead of living with despair → actively seek hope and healing (Romans 12:12).
• Instead of living in denial → learn to accept and explore options (James 1:2-5).
• Instead of hating our enemies → learn to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44).
• Instead of withdrawing → reach out to loved ones for help (Hebrews 10:25).
• Instead of using illicit sexual behavior for validation → learn how much God values you (1 John 4:16).
• Instead of hating yourself → receive God's forgiveness (1 John 1:9).
• Instead of doomscrolling → go out into nature or spend time with others in person (Psalm 8:3-4; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

There is Hope in God

"O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health." —Psalm 30:2 (NLT)

Grabbing a bottle won't help you solve the problem that's stressing you out. Staring at a screen for hours and doomscrolling is no cure for loneliness. Engaging in unhealthy relationships will not fill the hole in your heart. These are worthless placebos incapable of delivering lasting relief to all that ails us.

"This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him." —Psalm 91:2 (NLT)

Bad coping mechanisms lead to bad results—every time. God is faithful and good. He delivers. He keeps His promises—every time. There are many other options for healthy coping mechanisms out there too—whether it's watching childhood cartoons with a friend, journaling, being in nature, doing something creative, spending time with your pet, or just sitting quietly in God's presence. You don't have to choose the harmful coping mechanisms, and you don't have to go through this alone.

ALSO SEE:

• Are coping mechanisms sinful?
• What does the Bible say about hating yourself?
• Hating Your Sin Doesn't Mean Hating Yourself
• What does the Bible say about mental health?
• Can a Christian take mental health meds?
• What does the Bible say about stress?
• What does the Bible say about depression?
• How can I overcome anxiety?
• What does the Bible say about panic attacks?
• What does the Bible say about self-harm?
• How To Do a Mental Health Check
• How do people become alcoholics?
• How do I overcome habitual sin?