Is masturbation a sin?

"Dear friends, I warn you as 'temporary residents and foreigners' to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls." —1 Peter 2:11 (NLT)

Masturbation is much more common than anyone wants to admit, but nobody ever wants to talk about it. If you struggle with masturbation addiction or just occasionally giving into those desires, let me encourage you that you're not the only one. Many Christians have struggled in the exact same way as you. But no one wants to admit it.

What is masturbation?

Maybe it goes without saying, but we've gotta define it anyway. Masturbation is the act of sexually self-stimulating. This may involve the use of pornography, lustful fantasies, mechanical devices, or anything that triggers a sexual response.

Both men and women may fall into this habit—it's not about gender. Usually for guys it's a visual imagery thing; girls might struggle with visuals or erotic fiction. But that's not exclusive to gender either.

What does the Bible say about masturbation?

The Bible doesn't mention masturbation by name, so we can't say that the physical act of masturbation is or is not a sin. However, we CAN take biblical principles to help us get a healthy perspective on masturbation and its inevitable effects.

We'll get to that, but let's look at a couple stories that some people think are about masturbation—even though it doesn't use that word.

Onan's "Spilled Seed"

The story of Onan in the Old Testament is sometimes thought to be about masturbation (Genesis 38:9-10). Some refer to how God put him to death because he would "waste" his semen on the ground. But if you look at the context of the story, "wasting" his semen wasn't the reason God put him to death.

Onan had a duty to help his widowed sister-in-law conceive an heir, but he selfishly refused because he knew that the child wouldn't be his. So the sin that was punished was not masturbation but the refusal to fulfill a familial duty.

Cut Off Your Hand!

Sometimes Matthew 5:27-30 is used to "prove" that masturbation is a sin. In this passage, Jesus was talking about avoiding lustful thoughts and said something shocking: "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away." Hmmm...

While there might appear to be a connection between hands and masturbation, it's unlikely that's what Jesus was talking about. He was using hyperbole (or an exaggeration) to explain how we sometimes have to take drastic measures to stop ourselves from sinning.

So please don't cut off any limbs. Just...no. There are other ways!

Glorify God with Your Body

"God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor..." —1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (NLT)

When we have given our lives to Christ, our bodies become temples for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Our physicality is a gift from God, and we ought to take care of ourselves by practicing holiness and purity (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4).

Even though the Bible doesn't specifically say that masturbation is a sin, there's absolutely no doubt that the temptations and actions which lead to masturbation are 100% sinful.

Masturbation is almost always an act preceded by lustful thoughts or fantasies, deliberate self-stimulation, viewing or reading sexually-triggering content—or all of the above. None of those things are healthy or beneficial to our growth as human beings or followers of Christ (Philippians 4:8).

Lust & Masturbation

"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people." —Ephesians 5:3 (NLT)

Consider the mental and physical acts required to conjure up sexual fantasies or seek out sexual stimulation in order to masturbate. Lust is definitely sexual immorality, and that's at the core of every erotic fantasy, video, or image (1 John 2:16; Colossians 3:5).

In fact, porn is designed to elicit lust. Viewing or reading porn leads to intense, unrestrained sexual cravings. And giving in to lustful temptations not only sets us up for addiction, it defies the command for sexual purity (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).

Does masturbation or the things we do in order to be sexually stimulated glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31)? We need to be really honest with ourselves when we answer that one (Romans 14:23).

How Masturbation Hurts Us

There are a lot of reasons why habitual masturbation (and everything that comes with it) can be detrimental to our lives. Mostly importantly, our sin separates us from having a close, loving relationship with God, plus we put ourselves in danger of developing a harmful addiction.

Damage to Future Marital Pleasure

"Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery." —Hebrews 13:4 (NLT)

The Bible actually has quite a lot to say about sex in marriage and how it is an important aspect of a healthy union between a husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7; Hebrews 13:4). So making sure we protect the sanctity and enjoyment of our future married sex life is important!

Damage to Our Mental Health

"For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished. It is a fire that burns all the way to hell. It would wipe out everything I own." —Job 31:11-12 (NLT)

Many people feel guilty or dirty, regretful, or ashamed after masturbating. They feel alone and worthless—like they're nasty, untouchable, or unlovable. But the truth is, masturbation is not the biggest issue here.

The root of our desires for chasing pleasure is what we really need to discover. Whatever is missing or deficient in our hearts needs to be found. Whatever trauma or pain we're masking with sexual gratification is what needs to be addressed. Whatever mental illness is skewing our perception of reality should be treated.

The pain that leads us to sin begins even before we get to the act of masturbation. Honestly, once those deeper problems are found and dealt with through self-reflection, prayer, or professional therapy, then the temptation to masturbate can become easier to resist.

How to Stop Masturbating

"If you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning." —Romans 14:23 (NLT)

Unfortunately, there isn't a simple 3-step plan that will stop habitual sin for every person in every circumstance. But we CAN say that the very first step for anyone who wants to stop a behavior is that they must to want to stop.

If there's no conviction to change our behavior, then nothing anyone says will ever make a difference. If you're struggling with a half-hearted notion that you might want to stop, then ask God to convict you through the Holy Spirit. Once you're ready, here are some more steps to help you get there:

Confession

Talk to God about why you choose to give in to those sexual desires. What need are you trying to fulfill? Maybe you were bored or lonely or curious or just wanted to experiment. Maybe the good feeling helps you cope with reality. Maybe you physically need to masturbate in order to feel special, feel happy, or even just to fall asleep.

Whatever the reason, find it. Acknowledge it. You may need to talk to a counselor to really locate the source of your pain and desires. Confess to God that you need a healthy alternative to masturbation. Ask Him to cleanse, renew, and transform your mind (Romans 12:2).

Alternative Fulfillment

This is the practical part. Once you know what the underlying problem is—be it boredom, loneliness, or whatever—then you can start to consider alternative ways to fulfill those deeper needs. Every solution will be unique to each person, and only God knows what an appropriate, healthy alternative is for you.

Talk to Him and ask (1 John 1:9)! He's not embarrassed to hear from you, and He won't shame you. He loves you dearly and wants to help (Isaiah 41:10).

Know When Sex is Right & Good

Sex is not evil. Intimacy was designed by God, which is why our desires are natural. God also designed marriage, and sex is to be a sacred act enjoyed between a husband and wife (Hebrews 13:4).

Sex outside of marriage causes all kinds of emotional and spiritual turmoil that hurts our hearts as well as our relationships with others and with God. Once you're married, you and your spouse will be able to fulfill each other's sexual needs in a god-honoring way (1 Corinthians 7:1-5).

Accountability

Admittedly, accountability may be one of the hardest parts. We were never meant to live life alone, and when we're going through something difficult, that's when we need true friends the most.

Find a trusted Christian friend in whom you can confide about this problem and who can pray for you and help keep you accountable to your goals. Make sure this is a person who will call you out, check on you, and tell you the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). A friend who lets you get away with sin doesn't make for a very good accountability partner.

Pleasure for pleasure's sake is empty, worthless, and only lasts as long as it takes until the next time. There are much better things to fill you up than this. But don't despair, my friend. You really aren't alone. God will give you strength to overcome (John 14:13).

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