It's easy for sex to become an addiction when it's not being approached as God commands in the Bible. (And yes, God actually does have commands regarding sex.) Sex outside of marriage or sex that is rooted in lust is called sexual immorality and goes against what God intended: sexual purity. He created the act for married couples, and it is meant to be good. But the world is a dark place and tends to twist anything good into something evil.
Outside the church, in some cultural environments, having a heightened interest in sexual activity, sexuality, or sex itself isn't considered immoral or at all strange. Some think of sex addiction as a simply a state of mind or preference. This might seem like a good way to dodge responsibility by saying, "What? I can't help it!" But God calls us to practice sexual purity.
"You should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God... For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life." —1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7
Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences.1 Sex addiction is not currently listed among sexual disorders in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), however, any harmful behavior we're compelled to do should be something we give proper attention to.
"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." —Galatians 5:19-21
Even though many societal practices have been extremely sexualized, that doesn't mean it's a green light for a believer to partake. The Bible is clear that sexual immorality is the opposite of sexual purity, which is what we are called to practice (Romans 1:24; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 4:19). 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to "flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
Indulging in sexual immorality (or any sin for that matter) eventually leads to personal hurt, painful consequences, and feeling distant from God. That's why we're instructed to RUN from sexual immorality—not toward it.
Followers of Christ are not forbidden from experiencing pleasure (Psalm 16:11), but we are not to be slaves to pleasure (1 Corinthians 6:12-17).
Sexual purity is about maintaining control over the body and mind so we can remain focused on holiness. Self-control is listed among the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). Uncontrolled "passionate lust" comes from the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:19)—not the Holy Spirit.
Sexual activity outside of the marriage of one man and one woman is considered sexual immorality; the Bible is totally clear on that one (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). It's never OK to indulge in sexual pleasure outside of the context of marriage.
Those who give themselves sexually to someone they haven't committed their lives to (or who hasn't committed to them) are much more likely to experience hurt from those encounters or shallow relationships. Those who indulge in lustful fantasies and masturbation are likely to find themselves in a spiral of shame and regret. Some may become psychologically or even physically addicted to sexual pleasure. Sexual immorality, just like other sins, can lead to "ever-increasing wickedness" (Romans 6:19) and physical consequences, like STIs (sexually transmitted infections) or teen pregnancy, or even mental illness, trauma, and depression.
Sin is addicting—especially when we give in to temptations without a second thought. All of us, in our fallen bodies, have a sin nature. But the satisfaction of indulging in sin is only temporary, so we end up having to go back for more and more, which leads to an unhealthy loop of sinful behaviors that negatively affect our physical and mental health.
"Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness." —1 John 3:4
Sex between a husband and his wife in marriage is "pure" (Hebrews 13:4) and right; it's God's way of allowing a married couple to love each other intimately and release physical sexual tension. It is completely fine for a husband and wife to desire and practice sexual connection with each other.
Even within marriage though, sexual purity is still a command for each individual (Ephesians 5:3). That means that committing adultery is wrong (Matthew 5:28, 32). Using pornography is wrong (Matthew 5:28). One spouse manipulating the other with sex is wrong (1 Corinthians 7:5).
God designed sex for good and should be equally enjoyed for good purposes within the context of marriage. A husband and his wife are biblically free to enjoy sexual pleasures with one another, so long as it is consensual.
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it." —1 Corinthians 10:13
If you find that you are addicted to sexual pleasures, let us encourage you that not all hope is lost. No sin, including sexual immorality, is too great for the power of Jesus' atoning death and resurrection to pardon. Even though we may have defiled our bodies or the marriage bed in many ways, God can restore sexual purity and holiness when we repent and commit our lives to following Him (Psalm 51:7; 1 John 1:7). It's never too late to ask God for forgiveness (1 John 1:9).
Knowing that God has forgiven us for our sin isn't going to make that sin stop affecting us though. Yes, the Holy Spirit is your constant helper in all things—especially those times when we're at a crossroads between sin and holiness (John 14:16-17). And along with the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, we need to make practical choices to overcome those sinful habits (John 16:13; Romans 8:6).
That's why God has also provided us with access to the practical help and support we need: loved ones, friends who care, support groups, counseling, medications, and educational resources. These are all things we can use to overcome the harmful effects of sexual sin. You are not alone in this battle!
REFERENCES: 1. Fong TW. Understanding and managing compulsive sexual behaviors. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2006 Nov;3(11):51-8. PMID: 20877518; PMCID: PMC2945841.
Sexual pleasure can be very addicting and sexual sin eventually leads to damaging consequences. While believers are not forbidden to experience pleasure, the Bible is clear that sexual immorality is a sin because it causes us harm (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3). The satisfaction of indulging in sin is only temporary, so we end up having to go back for more and more, which leads to an unhealthy loop of sinful behaviors that negatively affect our physical and mental health. As with all sin addictions, the first step to healing is Jesus Christ, plus a support system of loved ones and friends who can hold you accountable, and perhaps even mental health therapy. You do not have to fight this battle alone.
L.B. is a seasoned Christian writer who loves working with youth and inspiring others to live for Christ.
Cat is the web producer and editor of 412teens.org. She is known as "412teens" on the 412teens Discord. She loves audiobooks, feeding the people she cares about, and using Christmas lights to illuminate a room. When Catiana is not cooking, gardening, or practicing creativity, she enjoys spending time with her two kids, five socially-awkward cats, and her amazing friend-amily.
