What if I'm losing the faith I grew up with?

"You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror." —James 2:19 (NLT)

Realizing that our hearts are slipping away from the faith we grew up with can be a scary, scary thing. For those raised in a Christian home, we've been taught, since birth, how following Jesus is the only way to salvation and the only Person we can trust 100% in this world.

As we get older, we'll run into new worldviews, new challenges, and a whole new set of questions that we'll need to wrestle with in order to decide how we feel and what we believe.

A Natural Process

"Test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good." —1 Thessalonians 5:21

Becoming our own person from the person we thought we were as a child is a painful but natural part of growing up. And if we were raised with faith and spiritual teaching, we may find ourselves trying to make that faith our own and/or entering into the process of deconstructing our beliefs.

Eventually, just having the knowledge of the Bible isn't enough. Just being told that God exists isn't enough. Just knowing we're saved is not enough. We want our faith to be real, to make a difference in our lives, to mean something profound to us personally. So we start to ask questions—and that's a good thing.

Knowing God for Yourself

"I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me." —Proverbs 8:17 (NLT)

Meeting someone in person is very different than just being told about a person. We're not automaticaly friends with every one of our friend's friends. It takes time to build a relationship with someone. We need to talk to them, listen to them, make time for them. We might even connect with that person differently than how others connect with them.

The same is true with our relationship with God. Just because we've been raised to know the Bible or know about God, but that doesn't automatically mean we've developed our own relationship with Him (James 2:19). Just because our parents claim to know Him, that doesn't automatically acquaint us personally with our Creator. Getting to know God helps us trust Him, rely on Him, and let Him guide us (Galatians 5:25).

Making Your Faith Your Own

One of the cool things about the vastness of God is that He made every person unique all different and connects with us in a myriad of unique ways! Maybe your way isn't like your parents' way.

Artists may encounter Him through the vibrancy of colors and shapes. Musicians may connect with Him through music. Archaeologists may encounter Him through the threads of history and historical discoveries. Scientists may encounter God through biology, geology, or space exploration. The list goes on! There isn't just one way to meet with God.

Testing With Scripture

"Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world." —1 John 4:1 (NLT)

Unfortunately, the church has a history of dividing itself and striking out on its own with various unbiblical teachings or practices. The apostle Paul had to deal with this many times in the very early churches (Romans 16:17-18; Titus 3:9-11). So part of making our faith our own is testing what we've been taught as a child against actual Scripture.

Maybe you were taught that it was OK to exclude certain people. But the Bible actually says that God shows no favoritism (Acts 10:34). Maybe you've seen the church condemning its own members. But the Bible tells us that there's no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ (Romans 8:1).

What feels like "losing your faith" could be your heart craving something that's been missing from your upbringing: God's honest truth.

Asking the Good Questions

"Only simpletons believe everything they're told! The prudent carefully consider their steps." —Proverbs 14:15 (NLT)

Examine your faith, upbringing, and your situation to discover the root of your apprehension. What's turning you off about Christianity? Do you have doubts you need to explore? The Bible encourages us to ask questions and make sure we understand our own faith (2 Corinthians 13:5; James 1:2-4).

Do you find yourself shying away from being called a Christian because others have misrepresented Christ? Have you met mean or hypocritical people who call themselves Christians?

Are you feeling disconnected from your church community or have a desire to leave? Did the church fail to protect you? Are you a survivor of spiritual abuse or any other kind of abuse at the hands of a parent or someone else who called themselves a Christian?

Does a chronic illness, medical condition, or mental illness make it difficult to hold onto your faith? Are you tired of trite responses to big problems?

Search your heart for answers to these questions, and talk to God about it. Challenge your questions and challenge the answers you find, then ask more questions. God is big enough to provide wisdom (1 John 4:1-3). It may also be helpful to speak to a trusted adult or counselor. Once you have a better idea of what's happening in your heart, then you can deal with those issues and find solutions much easier.

Are you doubting the basics of Christianity?

These are the basic beliefs of the Christian faith:

1. Everyone has sinned against God in some way, and no one is innocent (Romans 3:23). Our sin has made us enemies of our loving Creator (Ephesians 4:18; Colossians 1:21)
2. The penalty for sinning against God is eternal separation from Him after death, which is darkness, loneliness, and despair (Romans 6:23).
3. Accepting Jesus as "the way, and the truth, and the life" is the only way to receive forgiveness from God and restore our relationship with Him (John 3:16-17; John 14:6; 1 Corinthians 15:1-4; Ephesians 2:8-9).

Do you find yourself questioning whether these things are actually true? If so, explore those doubts. Don't just accept them without looking into the questions and getting to the root of where your doubts are coming from, what they're really about, and what answers you can find.

Are you doubting the reliability of the Bible?

If you're doubting whether the Bible is really true, there are lots of resources to explore those questions. Our certainty of its accuracy is thanks to the many, many manuscripts that are available. Look into biblical archaeology and ancient documents to explore the questions you have.

As you study, be sure to pray. God isn't going to brainwash you into believing a lie, as God is the very definition of Truth itself. Discover what the Bible says about God throughout history and how His plan for His people has been ongoing since the beginning of humanity. You can't always trust what others say, but God's Word is trustworthy (2 Timothy 3:16; 1 Peter 3:15). If you're honestly searching for true answers, they will be given to you (Matthew 7:7-11).

Are you afraid of contradictions?

Many have tried to point out errors or contradictions within the Bible's text, and those are good questions to explore. Studying the context of various passages can be extremely helpful. Our favortite resource for that is BibleRef. As we learn more about the nuances of the Bible—how and when it was written, how it has been preserved, etc.—we start to find that everything actually aligns. The truth of the Bible is clear, and no amount of study is going to "prove" that it isn't.

Are you passionate about the origins of the universe? Study evolutionary theory and creationism. Ask God to show you the truth. Allow these ideas to challenge each other. Are you curious about the archaeological background of the Bible? Research! Don't accept easy answers.

God is on Your Side

God knows your heart even better than you do (Jeremiah 17:9-10). No one else can tell you where your journey is going to take you. The possibilities for your future are endless as only an omniscient God can design. God loves you immeasurably and has offered a life of joy (John 10:10). It's OK to struggle with your faith, but don't stop there (Mark 9:23-24). Seek the truth, and you will find it.

"Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall as it had its foundation on the rock." —Matthew 7:24-25

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