What's the best age to start dating?

This is a question I distinctly remember whispering about with my friends, comparing notes on when our parents said we could date, and when our other friends' parents would let them date.

There was usually giggling involved and comparing which of the boys we had crushes on. Our middle school minds never seemed to be bothered by the fact that there were only four boys in our entire class.

Looking back, I can tell you that my friends and I, with our giggling at boyish smiles and being grossed out by the kid who ate bugs, were really too young at the time to be in any kind of romantic relationship.

How young is too young to start dating?

Each of my friends' parents had different ages for their daughters when they would be allowed to date, as each of my friends were different people with different maturity levels.

Even though it seems like it would be so much easier to have a set age when we can be told that we are ready to be in a romantic relationship, it honestly doesn't work that way.

Just as each person is different, each person is ready at a different time in their life. So the question of "how young is too young" depends on a person’s maturity, goals, and beliefs.

What does the Bible say about dating age?

The world defines "dating" in such a vast number of ways that's hard to just overlay a blanket answer about anything having to do with romantic relationships. Also, the Bible doesn't talk about dating in the way we understand it today. is quiet on what age is the earliest allowed to be in a romantic relationship.

But, something important to remember when discussing this topic is that the Bible is clear that we are to honor, respect, and obey our parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1). Even if you are certain you're ready to have a significant other, if your parents are telling you "no," you need to respect them.

Talking to Your Parents About Dating

It's absolutely OK to talk to your parents about dating—even if they've initially said no. Respectfully ask them what their reasoning is and if they have an age or time period in mind for when you might be allowed to date. Genuinely listen to what they say and try to understand where they're coming from.

Just remember that, even if you don't agree, you still must respect their decision. Before you know it, you'll be on your own and the decision will be between you and God. Then you can make your choice from there.

Still Feeling Pressure?

I get it though—sometimes seeing our friends have boyfriends and girlfriends can make us feel insignificant or unlovable. But if I can be a big sister for a minute here, let me assure you that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not necessary to be worthy of love.

You're already worthy of love. You are an incredibly valuable human being. You do not need a romance to "prove" anything. You don't have to conform to the world's standards. God can help us overcome that standard that makes us feel we have to date to be worthy of love (1 John 5:4).

Why It's Best to Wait

Growing up and entering your teen years is an exciting, confusing, and seriously insane time. Emotions can be all over the place, and it can feel like the whole world is pressing you into their mold instead of letting you discover who you really are and how you want to live your life.

During these years, you're figuring out what you're all about and how you relate to the world. You're in the process of becoming who you are as the amazing, unique individual you are and learning what your place in the world is going to be. To add a relationship right now could be very difficult and complicate life even more.

All of the romantic relationships the Bible shows are in some way related to marriage (or lead to marriage). So the best advice we can give you on this topic is to wait on pursuing romantic relationships until you're in a stage of life where you can see marriage on the horizon.

Some people are ready for marriage younger than others while some wait until much, much later in life. There's no "right" time or deadline, and there's no shame in waiting until you're spiritually and emotionally ready to commit to a lifelong partner in marriage. It's a big decision!

In the meantime, focus on building your relationship with God, reading His Word, and getting yourself a firm foundation about how to live out your faith. Take care to develop strong friendships with both guys and girls. Learn to build mutual trust and respect with others, and those skills and experiences will help you for the rest of your life—no matter what friendships or relationships God brings your way.

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." —1 Timothy 4:12 (NLT)